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Let’s Talk Story

  • >>About the Site
    Talking Story is published by Ho‘ohana Publishing, champion of the Managing with Aloha workplace reinvention movement. This site is the one-stop-shop of the current writing of author Rosa Say (me:) Browsing welcomed too: Talk Story with us!
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    Get your own copy of Managing with Aloha, Bringing Hawaii’s Universal Values to the Art of Business
  • >>ManagingWithAloha.com
    Links to Excerpts, Book Buzz, and additional articles.
  • >>Say Leadership Coaching
    There is nothing as much fun as Talking Story about the MWA reinvention of work in person! Get your boss to hire me :) Direct link to my presentation topics.

Because Life is so Rich

  • Say “Alaka‘i”
    I am now writing on management and leadership [Alaka‘i] for the online edition of “Hawai‘i’s Newspaper” The Honolulu Advertiser. Updates are posted each Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.
  • My Flickr Page
    Red Bottle Brush Gave myself a new camera for my birthday (LOVE this little gem) and wow! It is as if that little Fuji lens has finally put a pair of glasses on a part of my brain I was not using.
  • Follow me on Twitter
    Twitter_bird
  • Mana‘o on a Virtual Bookshelf
    And of course, what I will buy even before food: Books. My virtual bookshelf will point you to all my mini book studies and reviews.
  • Ho‘ohana Publishing
    Still looking for more?
    Love it! The link above will take you to my Coaching Article Index on SLC, my business site. If you are a productivity and lifehack person, you will love this one: MWA3P: Productivity and Working with Aloha.
  • Our sister site: Joyful Jubilant Learning
    Founded on ‘Ike loa the Hawaiian value of learning, JJL is home to our Ho‘ohana Community.


    Did you know you can get published at JJL too? Click over to learn how, and to read about the current learning focus there.

  • Support Talking Story as you Learn: Visit our SLC Store at Amazon.com

Hau‘oli la hanau to Dwayne ‘Joe Cool’ Melancon

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I did a birthday post for our friend Dwayne last year too, and before I started to write this, I read it once again only to find that I was thinking about starting this one in the same way! Such is the strong consistency of Dwayne’s impact on my life:

Didja know that today is Joe D.Cool’s birthday?

There are certain birthdays that deserve all my attention; they are my feelin’ the gratitude days. Today is my gratitude day for Dwayne; Hau‘oli la hanau my friend.

Dwayne is one of my spirit spillers;

Dwayne Melancon at Genuine Curiosity (Feed)
There could be no better pairing of a man with the name of his blog. Dwayne is the thoughtfully intelligent adult who has magically kept the genuine curiosity we only think children can have. I do not hear from Dwayne as often as others, yet when I do he has amazingly chosen the perfect time, where connecting with him makes me feel healthy again. I have a dream of sitting in an audience to hear Dwayne speak one day…
Sunday Mālama: Spirit Spilling

Dwayne just gave me one of those “perfect times” again in the past week... One way we count our blessings is in our vital friendships. When you do, their birthdays are actually your gifts!

Sometimes I think Dwayne is psychic, for I will see a message arrive from him in one of the places we communicate at the most perfect-for-me times. But I do know better: Having that kind of connection with someone happens because

a) they know you. They have intentionally worked at knowing you.

b) they are thoughtful and generous. Not only do they know you, they remember you.

c) they act. They don't just think about doing things for you, or about you; they do them.

That kind of knowing, remembering, and doing, is the best kind of caring in the whole world. And lucky, lucky girl that I am, Dwayne is that kind of vital friend for me.

Here is the most recent example.

Dwayne reviewed The Red Rubber Ball at Work by Kevin Carroll for ALAWB09 on JJL this past month. His first choice was another book (and don’t worry, I can safely guarantee you that one will show up on his blog one of these days soon - he is book reviewer extraordinaire) but he quickly gave in to me asking for this one because I was so interested in it.

Then, we had this conversation about it (and yes, I am forcing you to click over for the complete story and full effect... Dave jumped in too.)

Not even a week later...

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My friends are among the biggest JOYS of my life. Just got a surprise in the mail~ Aloha copy of The Red Rubber Ball at Work!
~ my delighted tweet on Twitter

Was I surprised? Wonderfully so, but was I really surprised? No, not at all, for this was classic Dwayne, knowing, remembering and doing as he does so, so well, and with Aloha.

DwayneMelancon Happy Birthday Dwayne. My life got so much better when I met you. You are smart and playful (the cover of Mr. Carroll’s book could have been designed with you in mind, textured ball in that briefcase!) and the best gifts you have given me over the years are the ones I hold not in my hands, but in my soul.

Postscript: Yes, there is a bit of a history to my Joe D.Cool nickname for Dwayne. If you like, you can follow this trail: Didja know that today is Joe D.Cool’s birthday?


About my Talking Story Birthday Celebrations: I would love to do these public Birthday Alohas for everyone in our Ho‘ohana Community, but if I did there might not be time and space for anything else here on Talking Story! (Intriguing thought for another blog one day though… seeing how strongly I agree with Keith Ferrazzi about the importance of celebrating birthdays.)

So who do I choose, and how do I choose? I choose vital friends yes, but mostly I choose the leaders who I believe you can learn from too. They are also the brave and generous citizen publishers of the web, so that you can follow and converse with them.

I encourage you to follow the links I offer and meet them: Leaders are those who inspire us to be better than we are, and they walk their talk as naturally as they breathe.

The Spirit of Joanna

Hau‘oli la hanau – Happy Birthday to my friend and spirit spiller Joanna Young today, for as I post this it is already April 5th in her part of the world, beautiful Scotland, a place I am determined to visit one day so I may give Joanna all the hugs she deserves for the joy she has given to me --- I may never let the poor woman go!

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The Spirit of Joanna

on Flickr

When I looked through my not-yet-published photos for one I could gift Joanna, this perfect-for-April glory seemed to jump out at me, and I instantly knew she was the one to help us greet this special day. I did not look any further.

Her center is deep and resonantly rich, seemingly without a bottom, yet we know the flower’s center has found the right sweet spot from which to push through with heart and courage. So confident is this center that vibrant washes of color spill up to the edges and play. This is so very Joanna, with the way she connects to her sense of place and inner spirit so joyfully!

Glory’s outer petals are bright white with the clarity of detail and strength, yet they are soft and gentle too, and not so bright that we back a bit away. Those petals are like the coaching encouragements Joanna so naturally gives to us consistently and generously: We then will come to our own clarity as well, but with her invitations a like-white canvas for our own personalities to shine through.

Do take some time to visit Joanna today if you have not yet met (her site, her JJL index of community contributions, and Joanna on Twitter). Introduce yourself here with a birthday greeting. Joanna is my friend, yes, but she is also an exceptional leader in our Ho‘ohana Community, and we Ho‘ohana together: She will want to meet you too.

Hau‘oli la hanau Joanna, you are my spirit spiller and my ‘Ohana.
~ Rosa

JoannaYoung2008  

Postscript: This was the day I met Joanna. She commented for me on a post which had been comfortably resting in my Talking Story archives for over a year. I think it was waiting for her :) When you look to your source, the spirit spilling happens so easily! My MWAC birthday post for Joanna last year merely hints to what Joanna has given to me and hence to our community.

About Birthday celebrations: Keith is right, and lucky me, you know it too

Attention and Intention: Right back atcha Rosa!

Hc_badge100x50 Preface: I am proud of you and honored by you, our Ho‘ohana Community. From now on, you will see this HC badge pop up to the right, to let you know when I am writing to you as the community we have become here, and not specifically in regard to my normal subject matter of Aloha-inspired management and leadership in values-based workplace cultures and personal behaviors.

Before I launch into the rest of this posting, I want to say that I do intend to have my Talking Story articles evolve to a much shorter form from now on. This will not be a short one today, but I feel it is extremely important, as it is foundational to what is yet to come.

It is about our intentions and our attentions. A powerful match-up we have spoken about both here in regard to Ho‘ohana and at Joyful Jubilant Learning. You’ve called me on them, and that is just the very latest reason why I am proud of you and why you inspire me!


I am going to pull a comment from our conversations here over the weekend by way of introducing this post:

Paul wrote:

As a recipient of your newsletter announcing these changes it is really interesting to see the story of the decisions behind these changes from your perspective... I can really empathise with your decision to make this change. To me it signifies a couple of things: The first is your ability to exhibit leadership not just as a coach but in the way you live & lead your own work & life. The second is your willingness to embrace the new, new media that many of us are still feeling our way with and take the kind of steps that confirm the closeness and interaction you want with this community.

And I responded:

It’s funny Paul, I pride myself on my independence (rebellion at times!) and on my quick decision-making, but I also know my growth has come during those times I open myself up to being wrong. I am still not there with everyone I encounter, but being wrong when someone in our Ho‘ohana Community is willing to tell me so? Wrong doesn’t get any better than that! So I open up and go with the learning that sometimes, keeping the can-be-ugly process all to yourself is foolish. This is one, very smart community.

As for embracing the new media, that is actually the easy part, for I really, truly love it, and I think we should all have a) free medical care and b) free internet access! When I think of what we human beings could achieve by being fully healthy and fully connected... wow.

Meant every word. Mahalo Paul, for giving me the opening to express that.

I did deliberate for a long time, and I wrung my hands over my decision to indefinitely retire our Ho‘ohana ‘Ōlelo newsletter. That final issue I sent last week suffered through draft after draft - Exactly what do I say? - until I finally said to myself, Enough already! You know them, they know you, just send it!

And you did know. You knew more. You knew about what I did not say too.


2 Blue, 1 White~ Front

As from Paul, your comments here and in other public forums we have were very, very generous and supportive. A few of you were more direct in emailing me privately.

To paraphrase your messages very succinctly (for they too were very generous and supportive), over the last week you have asked me

Rosa, what is your underlying objective in what you do today?

How much has this recession changed your attentions and your business?

Exactly what is it that you want, or expect from us as the Ho‘ohana Community?

And you deserve an answer. Let’s talk story about where our canoe will paddle to next.

My focus has not shifted, but it has become more precisely targeted. I will explain. Let’s start with the second question first.

Has the recession changed your attentions and your business?

The recession was not a trigger - the experiences which made up the whole of my business over the last 6 years combined into the powerful, and not-to-be-ignored trigger. The recession has actually been a gift of sorts for me, as it was an accelerant: I am now working on a reinvention of my business model that I had projected for 2010 through 2012, and instead I am doing it right now, convinced I need not, and should not wait.

Yes, the recession has been a big hit to the cash flow of my coaching business, however it has also given me more time to work on strategic pursuits and entrepreneurial development of my other ideas versus the gig-after-gig, trip-after-trip delivery of product and service that I already have. I now have time to innovate and invent, and not just duplicate.

What is the underlying objective in what you do today?

In brief, less individual coaching, and more team coaching and workplace culture design. Less personal service delivery, and more product development that will better scale the Managing with Aloha movement. And my dream is just that: To have movements tip with working with aloha, managing with aloha, leading with aloha, and teaching with aloha.

At this very moment, to be brutally honest (with myself) Managing with Aloha is merely interesting to people as opposed to a true movement. In the last five years since my book was published (and the philosophy thus shared) I do feel I have made great strides with bringing MWA to individuals, but not enough progress has been made with organizational culture.

I believe the secret sauce to be in enabling powerful teams versus individual mavericks. Thus my objective is to shift my focus to teams and to communities, the more globally inclusive they are the better.

Hence my decision was a first step in that shift: No more email broadcasting to individuals who are not connecting with each other by merit of that newsletter alone.

Exactly what is it that you want, or expect from us as the Ho‘ohana Community?

Okay. Deep breath.

You have told me that you were connecting, you were using my value of the month program with each other and within your own teams, and I just did not see or hear about it personally. Great! Keep it going!

If that is what you have been doing, you don’t need me to nag you about it anymore, and I need to devote my Ho‘ohana attentions to a more publicly staged movement. Some of you have expressed guilt about not saying thank you to me enough, and sure, appreciation for what I freely publish is great, recognition is wonderful, but that’s not it - you have no reason to feel guilty. We are growing - I am growing too, and if I do not lead new initiatives, how can I ask you to do so?

I want and will now expect bravery and transparency on web-based spaces we will develop and brand with our Ho‘ohana Community name. I want inclusive collaboration between teams of people who are ready to be leaders in their chosen communities.

I want those things in public, and not anonymously or privately, and not just behind closed doors and too-safe havens, and I am deliriously excited that today’s social web is helping us make that happen. I have been frustrated with lurkers and silent readers who take, take, take, and do not give back in the way that will allow our community movements to grow in larger expressions of aloha management and Alaka‘i leadership and I realize I cannot be all things to all people. Said another way, in the jargon of the day, I hereby choose my next tribe, and they will be the movers and shakers, the creators of vital movements.

I want to give my attentions to the courageous, self-motivated and energetic person to says “Can do” instead of meaning “Won’t try” and who thinks “Why not?” instead of saying “Yeah but…” I am not giving up on individuals completely, not at all. However the individual who will now get my attention, and my coaching and mentoring intentions is the emerging leader who clearly understands something:

  • He or she must be effective individually, walking the talk of self-management and self-leadership and relentlessly pursuing the lifelong learning of personal growth.
  • The Ho‘ohana [intentional work] of Aloha management and Alaka‘i leadership is about teams, tribes, and creating powerful community movements. There is a lot of need in our world, and we have to answer a higher calling with serving our fellow human beings.

And please understand that MWA is just one expression of a possible movement.

Over the past few years I have learned something about myself: I love being a community organizer. I think of Joyful Jubilant Learning as the pioneer community of incredible people who have helped me shape my thinking. We have accomplished so much there, and now I want to step it up, both there and in other forums.

As of this writing, Talking Story is one, and our new MWA-HC Group on LinkedIn is another. I am writing for Say “Alaka‘i” at The Honolulu Advertiser to offer up my continued coaching in our learning of Alaka‘i-aligned management and leadership, and to give back to my own local community.

So why didn’t you just say this in your last newsletter?

I did not feel it was the right venue, and when the right time came, I strongly suspected that Talking Story would be. I did not anticipate it would be so soon, but I underestimated you and your readiness, and I promise, I will not do that again.

So let’s talk story.

What else would you like to know? I will answer you honestly and transparently here: I fully intend to commit Talking Story to the sense of place I described above. A place of Aloha, of Alaka‘i, and in support of courageous, publicly transparent web-based learning and collaboration.

Ho‘ole‘ale‘a: Time to come out and play. Sure, I am very serious about what I have said here, but no one said we wouldn’t have a great time in our doing of it!

Thank you for subscribing to Talking Story

I cannot add another posting here without FIRST saying a HUGE mahalo [thank you] to those of you who are reading these words.

You’re still here, and I am beyond overjoyed. Here’s why.

This past week has been uncharacteristically nerve-wracking for me.

I’m normally someone who is very definite about my decisions. I make them fairly quickly, just a few breaths beyond impulsively, knowing when I need to sleep on them before I act. Once I make my decisions there are usually no regrets, and rarely any turning back; I’m already working on my next set of intentions.

This past week I made, and acted on a decision which was the exception to my normal m.o. for I’d been thinking about it for months now, and I’m still thinking about it although it’s essentially done. At first-take the decision seems like no big deal: I dumped the email newsletter editor I’d been using for the past six years, because I decided that the program was no longer serving me or my subscribers as well as it could. I’d been waiting for some leadership in email communications which never came from them; they were my supplier, but not my partner, and I expected more, and was tired of waiting for it.

However I did not replace them either, for I couldn’t find the leadership and innovation I was looking for emerging with any of their competitors. So what I did this past week, was send a final letter to all my newsletter subscribers saying that my Ho‘ohana ‘Ōlelo email newsletter would be on an indefinite hiatus. To continue in auto-pilot mode when I was less than happy with the service just wasn’t acceptable anymore; I’d let it continue long enough. Thus my decision not to give someone my business any longer morphed into a bigger decision to put my newsletter out of commission as well, perhaps temporarily, but perhaps in a manner which ultimately means that bringing it back at some point amounts to starting from scratch.

Here’s why I feel this was a big decision. Where would my subscribers go? Would they feel I had abandoned them? I wasn’t just rejecting a so-so supplier, I was fragmenting and possibly invalidating what is pure gold to any business owner, or any person valuing a personal network of relationships: A data base of contacts who were never purchased from some list, but had opted in, giving me permission to send them email. I have essentially asked my email subscribers – some for as long as the past six years – to change their habits in communicating with me, and still remain connected to me through their own initiative and willingness to follow-up, taking the huge risk that many may choose not to.

I have not rejected email totally, but as I wrote in my final newsletter this past Tuesday,

“Email in particular, is something I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with: I still love it for communicating with people privately, however it has dramatically fallen out of favor with me as a broadcasting medium, and the way you respond to me has demonstrated that the great majority of you largely feel the same way. Membership in our Ho'ohana Community of Managing with Aloha practitioners continues to grow, yet I can no longer trace our most effective communication with each other as a consequence of my emailed newsletters to you.

The last thing I want to do is create more inbox clutter for you, and I feel I am very accessible; thanks to search, it is very easy to locate me online, even if you were to lose every email address you ever had for me.”

People could have taken my truthfulness in that last sentence as arrogance, and gosh I hope not, for that would be awful. I have to hope they feel they know me better than that, and have appreciated my honesty.

Here’s what happened so far.

I decided to share the results of this week’s decision with you for two reasons.

1. You did follow up! You are hugely important to me as the select group of people who are reading these words at this moment, and I want you to have the evidence why, evidence of how special you are besides me just saying so.

2. We Ho‘ohana together. Many of you face similar decisions in your own businesses, and if learning from my decision’s case study can help you at all it will make these results all the sweeter.

I mentioned fragmentation. As far as I can tell, my final Ho‘ohana ‘Ōlelo missive this week was opened by 40% of the people I sent it to. That number is a bit better than the track record of the past year’s worth of newsletters, and is a measurement which had significantly factored into my original decision. Experts will tell you that after awhile monthly newsletters do hit the downslope of diminishing returns (i.e. getting read at all), and that downslope motion has accelerated in recent years as a) spammers cause email firewalls to be more aggressive than ever before, and b) as our informational reading increases: We are all living in the age of digital bombardment.

Out of the 40% who opened my email, read it and took action:

Update: To be clear, some of you took more than one, or all of those actions above, for we do communicate in a number of different ways. The percentages add up to 100% as the first trackable action you took which I could trace.

So now what? Nānā i ke kumu ~ we look to the source.

So now you are here, and I want to do more than say “thank you” to you, I want to show you how much I mean it.

I am newly committed to making Talking Story the primary voice of our Ho‘ohana Community. I will be challenging myself – and I hope you will join me in taking up this challenge – to take Talking Story to ‘Imi ola ke Ho‘ohana Aloha, the best possible form for the Aloha we share as the Ho‘ohana Community of our future.

Gift_card_new

It feels right. We started here in so many ways, for Talking Story has been a source, pre-dating the thriving neighborhoods we now have for our community at Joyful Jubilant Learning, on LinkedIn and on Twitter, and even for Managing with Aloha Coaching (which had been MWA Jumpstart Second Edition).

That said, I don’t want to be bombarding you either, and I won’t be posting every day. Speak up, and let me know what resonates with you, what you appreciate being here and what doesn’t matter, and we’ll figure this out together, kākou, just as we always have.

In other words, we’ll talk story.

Mahalo nui loa. Thank you so, so much for being here.


The gift card above was designed for me by the ever-thoughtful Dwayne Melancon, author of Genuine Curiosity

Love (and Learning) is All You Need

JJLer Karen Wallace has done the honors with introducing our learning theme for February at Joyful Jubilant Learning: Click over to read Love is All You Need.

"When we started talking about what we'd write about for February, Love seemed such an obvious choice. After all, February is the month of romance, secret admirers, red roses and cheesy valentine's cards..."

And I echo her invitation to you:

"We'd love you to join us!

If you've an open heart and love to share and would like to contribute to JJL this month, please write us via our Community Mailbox and we'll reserve a spot for you on our editorial calendar. We'll respond with love..."

A note for those of you reading via RSS or email: Do click into the blog for a video clip included here today.

While you're there...

I posted a preview for the month of March too: As we have done in years past, we will devote the month of March to our annual - and beloved! - A Love Affair with Books.

Review your favorite book of the past year for us, would you? Here is the invitation: Wholeheartedly Books.

Collage

Following along on Twitter, 500 strong

This morning I noticed that there are now 500 of you following along with my tweets on Twitter: Mahalo nui loa; thank you so much! This certainly is incentive for me to do my very best with keeping it interesting for you ~ the gift of your attention is priceless, and I do want to honor that.

This Twitter follower mosaic is the app-magic of Walter Higgins:

What a joy it would be if there was an app which could do this for our Talking Story community too.

The back-story: I started tweeting back in March, for it seemed to be a talk-story natural: Let’s Talk Story: What’s new with you? and there were other Twitterers on Joyful Jubilant Learning already, syncing up with a connection there: Talking Story and a JJL Twitter Soiree. If you have been thinking about jumping in too, perhaps some of these familiar faces will be your warm welcome as well? If so, follow me @rosasay, and more JJLers @JJLhui.

I am still learning to use the app too; I do think it takes a while, and so we can continue to learn it together. Twitter was part of our Brex initiative for 2008: Braver Experiments [with] Digital Learning.

Our Ho'ohana Community Schedule for December

Preface: This is the complete text of my Ho‘ohana ‘Ōlelo newsletter being distributed today. It isn’t always conducive to being duplicated as a blog post, but this month’s issue proved to be an exception.

If you would like to subscribe to Ho‘ohana ‘Ōlelo on an on-going basis, please do! At minimum it will arrive in your email inbox on the 1st weekday of every month, presenting my Hawaiian value of the month and other updates. On occasion I will send special issues mid-month (the exception versus rule). To subscribe, enter your email address here:

Join the Say Leadership Coaching mailing list
to subscribe to Ho‘ohana ‘Ōlelo
Email:

Aloha mai kākou,

Counting today, just 31 days remain in 2008. Many will be saying "good riddance" to what has become a very tough year. But I find the mood in our Ho'ohana Community is slightly different; it is the "chalk this one up to lessons learned" mood of lifelong learners who have become life's inventors.

Sure, we are eager to say goodbye to a few things gladly left behind us, but we see them as old burdens which no longer weigh us down unnecessarily. When the game changes, we can become different players with new strategies; armed with our ideas, we can get playful again. December has arrived with this community-evolved battle cry of "Bring on the New!" and we are readying ourselves for a spirited challenge.

November has been a month where our study of Ho'omau (the value of perseverance) helped us with that a great deal; we are emerging with a positive expectancy of the year to come no matter how tough it has been (or still is). Your emails and comments for my blog posts are illustrating your will-not-be-denied spirit for me on a daily basis. My Aloha conspirators, I am so proud of you!

Here is what will happen for our Ho'ohana Community in December. I hope it will be a comforting pattern you feel keeps your HCer's Sense of Place steady, strong and sure as we move from one year into the promise of another, yet one which helps you get that 2009 game face on!

1. Nānā i ke kumu, we look to our source.
In keeping with my "family, faith and health first" December tradition, Say Leadership Coaching will be on hiatus from December 13th through January 11th, and reopen for the business on Monday, January 12th. I will start my hiatus in an ambitious way! I am running the half-route of the Honolulu Marathon on December 14th: Let me know if you will be there too!

2. Ho'ohana, we intentionally work.
As for Ho'ohana Publishing, we Ho'omau with another December tradition, 4 years old as of today: Our monthly value study on MWAC will cover My Aloha Virtue List:

MWAC Day One Essay: In Keeping with our December Tradition: Twelve Aloha Virtues

Another important note on this: As of today, my publishing schedule on MWAC will shift to every Monday. It was previously each Tuesday, and I know that our new management and leadership laboratory on Say "Alaka'i" has made Tuesdays much too intensive, with too much reading to keep up with.

3. Alaka'i, we lead with our Ho'ohana initiatives.
The newbie in my attentions with Writing with Aloha intentions, Say "Alaka'i" will continue to be published at The Honolulu Advertiser each Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday. Keep in mind that whatever appears there on Sunday is up to you: I write it based on your feedback the previous week, whether in the form of blog and email comments and questions. As a for-instance, take a look at yesterday's article: What's in the Aloha name? What's in your name?

4. 'Ike loa, we learn so we grow.
I am quite excited about the month to come in our learning forum, Joyful Jubilant Learning, where that community-evolved battle cry of "Bring on the New!" will be our theme for the month of December. In particular, our objective there this month will be learning to newly define 'Success' for ourselves given the state of our world at our 2009 doorstep. If you are ready to seize your own new invention of success I urge you to collaborate with us there too.

JJL Day One Essay: Bring on the New~ Success. Yours and Ours

5. Kākou, we communicate well, and value our Language of We.
A reminder that since the debut of Say "Alaka'i" mid-November, Talking Story has replaced my Tumblr, Ho'ohana Aloha, as our Ho'ohana Community Center and my personal blog. If you would like just one email subscription versus individual feeds for each of everything else I have listed (plus more, such as links to Flickr photos and Twitter finds), this one for Talking Story is the one to get.

Meet the rest of your Ho'ohana Community every day: Talk Story with us.

So hopefully, I will continue to see more of you at Talking Story? Bookmark the site if you are streamlining your email, and check in occasionally as we countdown the days to Christmas, inspired by our Aloha Virtues and community collaboration and camaraderie.

I wish you the merriest Christmas ever, one that you might not yet be imagining in your wildest of dreams right now, for I know it is possible. Aloha tells me so, and I Aloha is one value I have gotten really good at listening to.

Mele Kalikimaka!

We Ho'ohana together, Kākou.
~ Rosa

Calvin’s Mamaki Tree ~ One month later

Mamaki is native to no other place in the world but Hawai‘i, and is best known for its refreshing herbal tea and medicinal uses. Leaves can be eaten raw or cooked, and the mamaki bark was used by the Hawaiians of old to make Kapa (cloth).

2008_0607saturday0034

I brought home a mamaki seedling in the beginning of May, telling of the story connected to it over at Managing with Aloha Coaching.

...Max explained about a hundred seedlings he had brought for us to take home, one by anyone with space to plant them, for they would indeed become trees. He explained the difference between four different types, each for a different climate and elevation, each with a story of how the Hawaiians had used them and honored them.

These were facts we were all certain Calvin would have known of too— and then some. It would be a legacy that Calvin would have wanted, to simply have trees that will continue to grow with his belief that they are good for us.

I was awestruck in that moment.

“To just have trees continue to grow.”

Legacy enough for a man who within all his justifiably proud knowledge had remained as humble as a man can get. Though man can sometimes help, trees grow because of God and because of Mother Nature, and because of the life stored within them. Ultimately that is what Calvin really knew, and he was fine with that. Calvin lived serving them all; God, Mother Nature, and that plant, and through them, all of us.

Calvin lived within a degree of humility that I may never be able to achieve.

Koaia
The Koaia was another of the trees Max told us about, and it is quite rare. This is the only one I have seen growing in Waikōloa; I would have never noticed it without hearing the reverence Max had for it!
Click for a larger view.

The full story is at MWAC: Calvin’s Mamaki Tree

Hiki nō: What I Can Do to remind myself of the lessons in humility I still have to learn, is to take the very best care of that mamaki tree! It will remind me gently, and beautifully, every time I step into my garden.

One month later, I am very pleased to share a few photos of how my mamaki is doing. These were taken yesterday afternoon:

2008_0607saturday0033
New shoots along the main stem, telling me the roots are happy! The other green leaves are of the cilantro (Chinese parsley) I have also seeded in the same large pot... they seem to give the mamaki seedling tree-trunk-to-be a fairly effective wind-break of sorts for now, and they seem keep leaf-chomping bugs away too.

2008_0607saturday0004

Seem to...seem to
... a gardener I am not!
I prefer to think that Calvin is helping me somehow :)

2008_0607saturday0032

If you would like to use these photos,
please comply with these Creative Commons Guidelines.
Mahalo!

You know you love writing when you don’t have to keep it

Aloha kaua e,

On Valentines Day, Joanna Young The Confident Writing Coach presented her readers with a challenge to write about “My Love Affair with Writing.”

Be_seeing_you I loved the idea and decided to take up her challenge immediately, for no secret to anyone, I love to write. I can crank out the written word in volumes. However what could I tell you about my love affair with writing that you don’t already know? I had to think about that for a while.

The answer came to me as I took advantage of the President’s Day holiday this past Monday to do some cleaning. Here is a picture of the best housekeeper’s helper I have:

Fellowes_shredmate_cross_cut_shredd In the course of cleaning off our dining room table, I picked up an old journal I’d been leafing through the past few evenings, nonchalantly ripped off the covers, and started to feed a few pages at a time through my voracious, eager to help me, Fellowes shredder.

My husband was sitting at the table with his coffee and the morning paper, and was horrified: He’d snuck a couple of looks into my journal too as it had lain there invitingly out in the open, and he couldn’t believe his eyes, asking me “What are you doing?” for surely it wasn’t a careless mistake: I knew those covers I’d ripped off well, and he’d seen that journal lots of times.

...He’d seen it when I’d carry it wherever I went,

...He’d seen when I purposely left out a rant or an adoration I wanted him or my kids to read,

...He’d seen it when I used it as an excuse to buy more post-it flags in new colors I didn’t really need.

...He’d looked over and seen it in my hands when he caught me laughing to myself, or tearing up over something that bothered me, not caring in the least that my tears were getting the writing all smeared up.

...He’d seen it when he knew I was up against some deadline with Ho‘ohana Publishing, because once again, I just had it clutched to my middle with my eyes closed, expecting inspiration to come out of its pages and straight into my gut.

My answer for him was pretty matter-of-fact: “I don’t need it anymore, I can write more.”

It may take me a while to let go of things (that now-shredded journal was a few years old), and I am nowhere near as irreverent as this picture...

Ode_to_jack_kerouac
Ode to Jack Kerouac found on Flickr by Olivander.

...however when I'm done with something I have written, I am truly done with it. There is this feeling of completeness that happens when the jaws of my shredder become part of the process. The writing has been terrific: It did what it was supposed to do for me. And yes, I loved it.

I think that is what my love affair with writing is really all about. It’s the love affair with the act of writing, and not with what I may have written. I write, and I am in love with writing, because writing helps me think, reason, and decide. It helps me make sense of things, and bring them to more clarity. Once I do, I can get on with life and move on to the next thing I’d like to think about, reason through, and decide upon or even better, create.

I write to capture things, but only until I can use them in some way. I do write in frustration or anger sometimes, allowing myself the peaceful okay-ness of being an imperfect human being, and that is when I love my shredder most, for those are certainly words that I don’t want left around for anyone else to see. I don’t want to see them again either, for they are just emotion spilling to make room inside for better thoughts, and my shredder helps me remember that there is a whole lot more in life that deserves my attention instead.

Why do you love writing?

Joanna is offering a prize; a book to strengthen or inspire a lifelong love affair with writing. It is one I already have and highly recommend, so think about writing on your love affair for Joanna too... I take myself out of the prize running and I shall be rooting for you :)
~ Rosa

Postscript: More on Jack Kerouac here if you are wondering... Beat generation on Wikipedia.

An Archive Romp through more on Writing: Take 5?

  1. My Mana‘o on Why I Write.
  2. Sunday Mālama: Morning Pages, Artist Dates and Rhythm (on MWA Coaching).
  3. Writing is a Skill the Successful Master (on MWA.com)
  4. Learn from the Master: Blog for 1 Person (on Joyful Jubilant Learning)
  5. What I Learned From Writing Online: It DOES make a difference (on Joyful Jubilant Learning)

Mea Ho‘okipa Live Their Aloha Every Day

Talking Story has given me pure joy over the last month when I think about our Ho‘ohana Community. This was our eleventh forum on these pages and our twelfth one when I count A Love Affair with Books this past March on Joyful Jubilant Learning, and one might think that I have over-extended my welcome with you, and that you would start to ignore my requests to participate, especially with so many other forums to choose from as the blog-scape has grown. Not so.

You are stars. Your writing improves with every new entry, and beyond the pure BEing of the Mea Ho‘okipa you are, you dazzle me with your talent and your insight! You give ideas freely, you open yourself to conversation about them, and you support each other author-to-author with such intuitive empathy.

Know this: Your aloha spirit gets evermore enriched with the warmth of lokomaika‘i, the generosity that comes from good heart. I hope you feel this too; that you have received while giving.

There are times I think I could continue writing about the values of our lives forever, and this is one of them. They ARE universal, and they DO shape our lives because of the way they have shaped our CHOICES. Yet every day it becomes much clearer to me that I will never be able to learn all there is to learn about them in my lifetime —even those values which I am most passionate about.

These forums illustrate something for me that I say to my coaching clients and the managers and leaders I mentor over and over again, without a care about the possibility they may be tired of hearing it from me: We learn best from other people.

When others lay out their welcome mat, willing to share their experiences with you, stuff your pockets (and your head) with every shred of humility you have, and take off your shoes so your bare feet can feel each thread of that welcome mat. Open up your spirit and listen well, for another’s willingness to teach you their life-lessons-learned is the greatest gift they can give.

Mahalo nui loa. From my learner’s heart and the aloha of my soul’s spirit, my deepest gratitude to the very talented and giving authors and Mea Ho‘okipa who wrote for us this month. You are Kūpuna, my respected teachers.

Remember that these authors are your neighbors in our Ho‘ohana Community, and in this, my recap listing for our essays on Ho‘okipa, the value of hospitality, I have linked both their articles here and the sites at which they normally write so that you may visit them often. I know they have their welcome mats waiting for you there too.

So remember, step onto them with bare feet!

Our learning about Ho‘okipa:

Ho'okipa Via The United States Postal Service by Deb Estep, author of Deb Inside.

NEVER, EVER let anyone tell you that snail mail is a thing of the past. It’s almost as if the paper of the card or letter is ~charged~ with the Spirit of Ho’okipa. From your hand and heart, to the receiver’s hand and heart. A most powerful thing indeed!

Build Energy then Go Where the Energy Is by Lisa Haneberg, author of Management Craft, 2 Weeks 2 A Breakthrough, and Essay a Smile.

I just came back from a 40 day, 9,400 mile motorcycle book tour. I visited 34 states and connected with thousands of people. Long trips are great for helping us see patterns and insights we might otherwise miss.

Hospitality: Our Gatherings Seek to Meet a Need and Our Gatherings Nudge Us Toward Collaboration, both by Reg Adkins, author of Elemental Truths, Hero of the Week, and Faith Based Counseling.

Well guided gatherings have the following characteristics of hospitality ... A good meeting host knows the aspect of a meeting which embodies the feeling of professional hospitality.

Successful hosts guide discussions to involve all viewpoints and make sure group members know they have open-door access.

The Mingwe (Mingo) native peoples of the Appalachian mountains had a wonderful method for insuring every member of the group had an opportunity to participate in meetings and yet no one individual could monopolize the attention.

When matters were of significant importance to require a meeting of the group the host (usually the eldest member of the group) would begin the discussion by holding a symbol of attention (the talking stick).

Hospitality: The Key to Peace on Earth by Maria Palma, author of Customers Are Always, and The Good Life.

As I sit here and reflect on what hospitality means to me, I start to wonder how much better the world would be if each and every one of us was taught hospitality at a young age.  What if it were a class like English or Math?  Do you think the business world would be different?

Ho'okipa: A Mother's Love by Dave Rothacker, author of Rothacker Reviews and Radioback.

She was dog tired.  Worked nine hours, picked up Jen and Liz from day care, stopped by the grocery store, got home and made dinner, cleaned up and gave the kids a bath.  The kids weren't ready for bed so she read a little Dr. Suess to them. She heard the words coming from her mouth, but her mind began to drift...

Dissecting Hospitality and The Business End of Southern Hospitality by April Groves, author of My Beautiful Chaos and Making Life Work for You.

Hospitality is an idea. Ho'okipa is a series of events. A manner of treatment. A dedication to excellence. Take a new look at an old practice with fresh eyes.

Living in the South, the word "hospitality" gets used a lot. It is a badge of honor to be considered a good provider of "Southern Hospitality" in your home. This comes in the form of cold tea, hot biscuits, a good meal, and warm pie. You would never be rude to company - maybe family, but never company. A covered plate to take home would always be offered. Don't mind about returning the plate - you can keep it. Wonderful friendships are formed in these circumstances.

Writer, reader, place: writing with ho'okipa by Joanna Young, author of Coaching Wizardry and Confident Writing.

Hospitality has to start with ourselves.  ...That ho'okipa is about knowing who you are and where you've come from.  And more than that it's about respect and love for the place where you find yourselves.  That means creating a sense of  place: helping people to understand and love the place they are visiting, that sense of being at home. It's about knowing (and loving) the place that you've come from. And it's about respecting and sustaining the environment that has brought us together, has brought us here.

Hospitality is more than façades by Dwayne Melancon, author of Genuine Curiosity.

You walk into a hotel, and it has a terrific lobby - clean, comfortable, well-kept, and inviting. So far, so good. You walk up to the check-in desk for the next layer of hospitality opportunities. This is your first opportunity to see the hotel's true colors ...

No Requests Required by Carolyn Manning, author of Thoughts & Philosophies and Productivity Goal.

When Rosa first brought up the subject of hospitality, I thought it would be an easy topic to cover.  After all, we're surrounded with all manner of hospitality in our lives.  Ah, but therein lay the rub,  It's almost too much subject for one subject.

After some thought, though, the filament in the mental lightbulb vibrated to warmth and the brightest word was "surrounded".

Hospitality: It feels like home, by Phil Gerbyshak, author of Make it Great! and becoming widely known as The Relationship Geek.

I thought first of organizations that don't make me feel like home. ... Then, I thought of the organizations I give up more too. They often have a personal cry for help, make real connections with me, and I know a few of the others in the group. Occasionally when I see my friends that are involved, we mention the group, their mission, if it's still worth our time, and usually we agree it is, so I'll go to a fundraiser and give a bit more of my talent, treasure, and time.

Be worth copying by Rebecca Thomas, author of Rebecca Thomas Designs.

I was flabbergasted. As far as I knew, we’d just sat there, processed people in to the event, snacked, chatted, and generally had fun while we worked. I asked her what specifically she would be stealing, and she said it was all about my organization and the spirit I cultivated around the gate by including food and encouraging people to come visit and entertain us. By doing so little, I’d made the gate crew, the first people seen at the event, a lively, efficient bunch. Sometimes, providing good service is as simple as taking care of those who are supposed to be providing the service.

 

Maria Palma brought us an added treat: Welcome to the Customer Service Carnivale! with the ho'okipa generosity of eight more authors.

  1. Matt Hanson presented Building Visibility with Promotional Umbrellas posted at Matt's Creative Advertising Blog.
  2. Jason Rakowski presented CRM Software posted at Learn Good Customer Service.
  3. Meikah Delid presented CustServ: Customer Relations: The New Competitive Edge posted at CustServ: Customer Relations.
  4. Charles H. Green presented Soliciting Customer Service Feedback: Motives Matter posted at Trust Matters.
  5. Kate Baggott presented A Child-Friendly Restaurant for Grown Ups posted at Babylune.
  6. Carolyn Manning presented Business Productivity Has Responsibilities posted at ProductivityGoal.
  7. Robyn McMaster presented Hospitality Stirs Serotonin posted at Brain Based Biz, and
  8. Service Untitled presented Does Customer Service Come Naturally To You?

My own writing for you this month:

  • Make Sunday your Day to Comment. If Sunday commenting became your new practice, you would learn and gain much enrichment from our month within hospitality.

My last link for you is that for Rapid Fire Learning on Joyful Jubilant Learning this month: Keep in mind that you can learn with us there in the welcoming arms of 19 contributing authors --- and still counting! See Dean Boyer's August Challenge.

BE Mea Ho‘okipa. Aloha.


Postscript: I WILL ask again! Our next Ho‘ohana Community Forum will be on Joyful Jubilant Learning through-out the month of September. If you want to be sure you are sent an invitation to contribute there, let me know!

Do you really need more convincing? Try these, all found at Joyful Jubilant Learning:

  1. Learning through Blog Forums
  2. Writing, Blogging, Business, and Learning Through it All
  3. Write to Learn; Slow, Steady, Sure

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