Talking Story with Say Leadership Coaching

Are you telling your stories?

On a recent drive to North Kohala I stopped to grab a few photos at the North Kohala Civic Center where the statue of King Kamehameha I stands.

There are huge trees there – massively huge, and it is quite impossible to fit them into a picture frame completely.

When I see trees like this, which have lived much longer than I have, or ever will, I always wonder about the stories they’ve seen play out over the years, even though they are rooted to one spot. There just has to be a lot of memory strengthening those branches, and fortifying the tree with the will to keep growing and reaching as it does.

The trees can’t tell us their stories, we have to imagine them. However if you are a manager and a leader, telling the stories about your organization’s history —and about your vision’s promise of a better future, is something you can do all the time. Are you?

I want to be a Thinker Tinker!

Timothy Johnson has written a fabulous follow-up to our recent decision-making talk-story here. He writes:

Decisions are important. They drive us forward in business, whether they are publicly documented or privately derived. But I'd like to take a step back from Rosa's decision-making process. As I admitted in her comments, I'm a systems-thinking addict, and the input to any decision is ultimately a question. So while she has beautifully dissected decision-making, I want to pick apart the questions which create the need for a decision.

In short, are we asking the right questions?

He then teaches us three ways we can categorize our inquiries so we can successfully navigate any 'Decision Incision' which may give us pause. Check it out!

If you are just joining us, my first posting asked, Decision Making: How do you do it? There are terrific comments there from Lee Iwan, Joanna Young, Lorraine Rinker, and Timothy.

Then, join Timothy at his blog, Carpe Factum for Decision Indecision:

We all need to make decisions, but the pre-cursor is whether we can make an incision in the decision to find the inquisition.  Think about that one for a while.  Then take two questions and call me in the morning.

Talking Story: Changes versus Constants

Tuesday Coaching is up on MWAC today, and we're looking at both change and our constants using this Nānā i ke kumu framework:

Let’s look at “both source and capacity to learn” in another way, as constants (source) and as change (capacity to learn). At any given time, and with any given effort, we are working on one or the other: Either we are

• Working to maintain our healthy constants, or

• Working to effect a change we desire.

Further, it is in effecting a desired change that we experience our most elevated experiences with learning.

People will write me after they have read my book, and ask for exercises for the small business or for the single team in a larger organization, saying, "We don't have access to the resources the big guys have." You don't need them! This is precisely the reason I blog here in the first place, to offer you possibilities for discussions ("talk stories" as I call them) that can turn into exercises and mini-studies you can personally apply to your own situation and within your own context.

Changes versus Constants is a beauty.

As I have written at MWAC (and again above) we are working on maintaining a constant or effecting a change within every effort we make - sometimes we work on both simultaneously.

To transfer this lesson plan to your team, just set up a flipchart or whiteboard with two columns:

1. Write "our Constants" atop one, and "Desired Change" atop the other and get a brainstorm and discussion going.
2. End it with a specific action plan for one of the efforts you talk about.
3. End the talking about it (say mahalo!) and get out and do it!
4. When your team has finished tackling it, bring the flipchart out again in another huddle and just ask everyone: "Do we have anything current to add to this, or shall we just move forward with picking our next issue from this list as it stands?"
5. Repeat the process.

You can use the full coaching on MWAC to help you as the facilitator (by "full" I just mean today's Tuesday Essay -- don't get overwhelmed!) or you can print it out and distribute it to your whole team -- read it together, then start with number 1 above.

Here is a snippet of the Change section on MWAC today:

Are you okay with Change? Are there certain proverbs or quotes which became aha! moments for you when you first heard them? This was one of mine: “People do not resist change; people resist being changed.” —organizational change pioneer Richard Beckhard That made so much sense to me! It made sense both in my own experience with when I vigorously resisted change and when I embraced it. It made total sense when I thought about those successes and failures I’ve had in trying to champion changes that others resisted accepting no matter how good I thought the change sounded, for aha! it just didn’t sound that great to them. Said simpler, it wasn’t their idea, and they thought it was a lousy idea.

These are the sub-headings of the MWAC Essay today, How Nānā i ke kumu Helps You Embrace Change and Growth:

• Are you okay with Change?
• The worst possible Change? To your Constants.
• Choosing Embraceable Change.
• You Choose, or I’ll Choose!
• Choose to Learn.

If you turn any of them into a Talk Story within your workplace, come back and share your experience with us!

Beyond Those 5 Senses, is Sense of Place+

Today is Tuesday Coaching Day on MWAC, and a great talk story possibility for the workplace has emerged with the first comment I received there from Joanna Young;

Beyond those five senses we normally think about, (those of sight, hearing, smelling, tasting and touch) what other senses are important in your workplace?

There are three that I talk about in today’s Tuesday Essay:

1. Sense of Place
2. Sense of Belonging
3. Sense of Connection

And Joanna brought up a 4th which intrigues me: Sense of Wilderness.

When you think about it, you can fill in this Sense of ________ blank with a near endless stream of possibilities, however if you ask your team, what will THEY say? And why might it be important in YOUR workplace culture?

Would the “Wellspring” in your workplace culture look like this:

Photo Credit: welly wellly welly welly well on Flickr by 顔なし.

Or would it look like this?

Photo Credit: Ronnie’s Stonework on my Flickr page.

Is there another image which would capture it better?

Consider having this Sense of Place talk-story in one of your huddles this week, and please come back to share your results with us if you do!

Here’s a quick link to this week’s Tuesday Coaching: As usual, it is an essay, longer than most blog posts, and though you can read it through once in less than a Daily 5 Minutes, my Tuesday essay is intended to give you a full week’s worth of Ho‘ohana-inspired self-coaching:

Where is this “wellspring?” Your Ho‘ohana and your Sense of Place

Sub-headings you will find there are:

• Our Value Study: Nānā i ke kumu. This is 1st Tuesday.
• Get the most out of Nānā i ke kumu with Value-Alignment
• Go to the Well (the five places your wellspring draws from)
• Sense of Place
• Sense of Belonging
• Start With Where You Live

So in essence, I am also suggesting that after you have started with where you live, you can continue with Where You Work!

Blue Chair Weekend

Big plans for your weekend? My plans look more like this:

Feeling accomplished over a weekend doesn’t have to mean productive as in catch-up: It can mean productive as in humanly engaged.

Enjoy your weekend: Sit in the chair.

Invite someone to be with you, and talk story with you.

A related post at Joyful Jubilant Learning: Blue Chair Learning. I was thrilled to find it was one of Joanna Young's favorites at our JJL 08-08-08 celebration yesterday; did you catch it? That would be another way to "sit in the chair" and have a Blue Chair Weekend with others in our Ho‘ohana Community.

How about, “What I want conversational good human beings to know”

Okay, this pointer goes under a few categories here: being a coach, better conversations, business strategy, coaching essays, communication, words and language, web/tech, and Let's talk story. And that's without adding in any of the Hawaiian values it covers.

Chris Brogan has a great posting up at his place today that I really like. It's an open letter of sorts: He calls it What I Want PR and Marketing Professionals To Know, and it shares some pretty universal communication messages. I think he could've called it What I want conversational good human beings to know.

He shares his tips in a list of 13, but before I'd even gotten that far I tumbled his opening paragraph:

"Since quite a number of people who swing by my blog are either in marketing or public relations, I wanted to address you specifically for a moment. I’m writing to you as part of this new version of media, one blogger not paid to blog, not working for a newspaper or magazine outlet, not especially beholden to the traditions that have come before. I’m writing to you as a human being who likes people, community, innovation, and business, not to mention art, creativity, play, and many other things. I want to tell you a few things for you to consider."

~ Chris Brogan, What I Want PR and Marketing Professionals To Know

What a great way to start a conversation: Cut to the chase, preview what is to come, and openly, with full vulnerability, lay your motivations on the line.

Photo from Chris’s Flickr account:
Couldn’t resist this one because he titled it “Am I Human.”

Chris got me to

a) stop for a moment and think about my own approach with different conversations,

b) He got me to wonder about the kind of job I do (translation; effectiveness I am having or not having) with the messages that are in my circle of influence to give, and

c) He got me to go back, and read every single line of his post and all 51 comments he got (as of this writing). Pretty easy to separate the excuses and justifications from those willing to understand, be open to change, and learn.

In encouraging us to choose our friends wisely (traditionally a common, and probably a well-advised parental topic) my dad would often tell us kids that whether we agree with the people we listen to is actually not as important as how much they make us think for ourselves. In this case (and often) I agree with what Chris has to say, but I read his blog because he has this frequently deployed skill with making me think.

Is that what your conversational partners (or reading of choice) can do for you?

What do you think of the 13 tips that Chris shares? If you read them as, “What I want conversational good human beings to know” are there any others come to mind for you?

Some other archived connections which come to mind:

1. My parents were a big influence on me (as I just shared with Thadeus earlier). Recently wrote about my dad for JJL: The best boss I ever had, wasn’t mine.
2. This was another time Chris got me thinking out loud: I still refer back to it often ~ Sense of Place on the Internet: A Brand New Community Ecosystem.
3. And about thinking, with this month as a great time to play with makawalu g8ways: Counting Fish, Taro, and Thinking.

Let’s Talk Story: When business is not great, how do you spend your time?

Had a coaching call this morning that was about my client’s need to refocus his business strategies right now; it’s a theme becoming more and more common in the short term given the U.S. economy (and how it specifically affects him/we in Hawai‘i), but when you really think about it, improving upon present business strategies is a timeless, recurring theme —or if not, it should be.

The call was all about him (also as it should be) and as we wrapped up he asked me, “What about you Rosa, what do you do when business is down for you?”

See Lost Business as Newfound Time

...and as new opportunity.

A lot of his specifics don’t apply to me, mostly in the area of employees and other business partners, for I now work solo, or with the assistance of other contractors I have certified in their niche areas of Managing with Aloha expertise. However most of the other things we’d talked about are generally the same, and my answer can be summed up by saying, “I take the half-full approach, and redirect.”

Life is rich. It offers us a wealth of variety.

When business isn’t good (i.e. cash flow is less than abundant) it means I have free time I didn’t have before, and it’s a matter of filling it up with stuff that will replace the lost abundance. The only question is, how good will I be with assessing and then pulling the take-action trigger on the different, and perhaps new options that are in front of me? What will I scoop up, and what will I pass by? What will be a direct route to a jackpot, and what is very likely a cleverly disguised rabbit hole?

My immediate reaction is actually “Oh great!” because of newly opened windows of time: There are on-the-list choices I can now work on and devote that time to, which previously were “2010 if I’m lucky.” Second, financial realities set in (as they do for all self-employed people) and I will look at those checklists I have for myself before getting pulled into a new project. Third, I tend to get a bit productivity obsessive, seeking my defined accomplishment versus getting lost in busy-ness.

Create Your Energy

I personally find that I must resist any and all urges to get lazy; for me that will normally mean getting into project mode, and redirecting my day-to-day efforts away from things that will drain my energies. I get schedule happy, and I design Strong Week Plans for myself, plans which impose deadlines on me —and reward me when I do well. Right now, my rewards are things like photo excursions and luana weekends.

Even when I take a break, playing with something like Flickr (my normal diversion of late), I will get more detail-oriented about it: My latest uploads there on Hāpu‘u pulu ‘i‘i (the Hawaiian Tree Fern) sent me on a research mission for which species are endemic versus indigenous, and to learn more about how the Hawaiians of old used the plant.

Is the Hāpu‘u pulu ‘i‘i going to replace any lost revenues for me? No, but ‘Ike loa and learning about it will boost my energies and not drain them: The detail work will reinforce my other project habits.

Let’s talk story: How about you?

• What are your personal habit strategies for taking the “half-full” approach?
• What do you find you will naturally do when business changes (or other day-to-day pressure levels shift) as your default? How must you redirect?
• How do you keep yourself from slipping into excessive laziness and the doldrums? What are your energy boosters?
• Where do you look when you need to take inventory of new options?
• What types of activities are time sinks and procrastination traps, and which are those which help you be more productive in revenue-producing ways?

I think this is a great discussion for us to have as a Ho‘ohana Community, for we do have more in common than we realize. We can share ideas and help each other.

It’s also a good discussion to have at your next huddle or team meeting; chances are that this is not a time anyone should be on auto-pilot, and talking story about energy drains versus energy creators is always a great one to have.

Somewhat related:
Don’t blame the economy; Show me what you’re made of!

Weekend Warrior (Mine was a Wiliwili tree)

How are you doing (or did you do…) with your Reach into the Weekend?

Yesterday morning I indulged in an Artist Date, the exercise Julia Cameron of The Artist’s Way recommends…

“Now to the second tool, the sticky one. [The first tool is her morning pages.] The second primary tool of a creative recovery involves play. Oh this tool is hard to master. Dubbed an ‘Artist Date,’ this second, essential tool involves a once-weekly, solitary, festive expedition targeted at enticing our inner artist into exploring new realms.”

My chosen “realm” to explore yesterday was my passion for, and fascination with, the endangered Hawaiian Wiliwili tree. This view is of a tree I have driven by for the past eighteen years, but had to hike into the scrub to see — and to appreciate up close.

We are surrounded by dryland ‘lava land scrub’ where we live on the west side of the Big Island, on the slopes of the saddle between Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa, two of the five shield volcanoes the Big Island is made of.  One visitor to my Flickr photostream had commented, “it looks so remote” and it is and isn’t… it could more accurately be described as in adolescence with land development that may unfortunately be inevitable.

Meanwhile, it is an easy thing for me to set off on foot, and be within wilderness (that truthfully, someone somewhere may consider to be trespassing) within two walking miles. It would also be very easy to get hopelessly lost in the scrub, and you must be careful that you keep the roadway in some relative direction by sight or sound as you hike; the terrain takes you on 180’s in shift constantly, and the rolling hilliness obstructs your view with every few steps (and you do venture in because these old 4-wheel roads are not where it is most interesting):

Yesterday’s morning hike was more ambitious than usual, for it took me a good four hours (very sunny, hot hours) but it was so rewarding. My goal was to populate my Flickr photo set for the endangered Hawaiian Wiliwili tree, and there was one in particular I think of as the Warrior Sentinel. It grows in its natural habitat and is one which has been pruned of its lower branches by the land developer, but has never been transplanted, in fact, the road was rerouted to be built around it.

One look at the trunk near its base, and you can understand why transplanting it would be a monumental endeavor…

Plus the wiliwili is now considered an endangered tree, so it may be that the developer had little choice… law or no law, it is likely that messing with this one would have created an uproar. I wasn’t here at the time the road was built, but if they ever try to mess with it now, I’ll be one of those making the most noise.

If you would like to learn more about the Hawaiian Wiliwili you can start with my Flickr photo set, now 62 photos full as of this writing, and then do some Google searches.

The wiliwili is starting to be a more frequent illustration for me now that I have a digital camera, and I have had a few people ask me (and I paraphrase to sum them all up succinctly) “Rosa, what is it with you and this tree?” for to many it is interesting yes, but it is gnarled and less than totally beautiful when compared to some others; in the late summer and early fall it loses its leaves completely, and the older ones I most reverently take my photos of barely leaf at all when they do.

The answer is that the Hawaiian Wiliwili represents significant kaona (hidden storied meaning) for me, so much so that if I ever had to pick one image for all of Managing with Aloha it would not be my book jacket; it would be one of the wiliwili. I will tell the full story one day soon (there is some of it within the Flickr photo set descriptions). For now, I hope you enjoy more pictures.

One of my rewards yesterday was to find another tree with yellow blossoms I had not seen before. Its blooming was farther along than the Warrior Sentinel, and so I could get photos of the wiliwili seed pods:

So tell me, how did you Reach into your weekend?

What are your current triggers with what is interesting to you? My timing for this particular Artist Date had to do with a couple of different things, like having my camera now, and learning to love Flickr photo-journaling, but mostly because the Warrior Sentinel is in full summer bloom right now (there are other ‘before’ pictures from May in the same set). The wiliwili blooming was my reason for a hike into the scrub versus taking another kind of Artist Date, and there are a bunch of other things you can do that are not solo propositions.

I am interested in your stories: There is nothing like the weekend for talking story where we all get to know each other better. Especially for humans, but trees can count too... then there is the very worthwhile goal of learning to be interesting too.

Did you get rewarded with any surprises, as I did with the yellow wiliwili tree I found?

Reach into the Weekend

and Kēia Manawa, or as may be more familiar to many, “Carpe, Diem, seize the day.”

It is 5:40am as I write this - just had to wake up early and get the weekend started, for there is so much to do, so much to feel, so much to be, with joy in the living of it all.

How will it be Kēia Manawa for you this weekend?

Let’s Talk Story: What’s new with you?

Sometimes, and certainly when it comes to talking story, those simple questions we call “small talk” are the best ones for keeping you socially connected to people. They can lead to great conversations. In the very least, they comfort you with the knowledge that life is not a solo proposition; they are warmly connecting.

What’s new with you?
Mahalo for checking in with me today.

For instance, while sitting with my coffee this morning I sent off one of those emails that are family blasts. I have three brothers and one sister, all married and with families of their own, and is the case with my own two in-college kids, I can’t personally visit any of them (or my mom) unless I hop on a plane. So my email simply asked, “What’s new with you?”

It’s nice to let the people you care about know that you are interested in their lives; and the niceness karma comes back to you tenfold… I love getting their responses back.

So, dear readers, send out your own ‘Ohana (family) email blast, and then, if you like, let’s talk story here too: What’s new with you?

New with me? My tweeting on Twitter. I’m not always the earliest adopter, but I eventually find my way… so you can also let me know about what’s new with you there... you’ll find me @rosasay

Initially I didn’t really “get it.” But now, I am finding that Twitter can be a great new way to talk story with people, and I would agree with Tom Landini (whom I learned about in a tweet from Angela Maiers) when he says,

“I’m not sure, though, that the most interesting question is ‘what are you doing?’ Much more useful to me is ‘what’s got your attention right now?’”

So much is about where you give that gift of your attention, isn’t it.

Thank you very much for this gift of yours just now :)
~ Rosa