Talking Story with Say Leadership Coaching

Management as a “second career.” Empathy needed please.

When I first learned about blogs, one I’d read somewhat regularly was John Porcaro’s. John is a manager in Microsoft’s online marketing communications division.

Back in October of 2004 I sent a trackback to his blog, writing As a manager, which metrics are your everyday reality? in response to a posting on his blog called We're Listening.... I noticed that someone arrived at Talking Story after clicking on it today, and so I wondered if John had kept his blog going. Clicking over, I found a post in which he talks about attending a 4-day “foundational” training event for Microsoft, explaining,

“I took a similar class several years ago, but since the company has changed so much, along with our culture, I assumed that the management principles have changed too.

Today we covered many basic principles of management, but I was impressed that a lot of the day was spent speaking about the culture, and the role managers play in the ongoing climate.”

These were his observations;

One thing that caught my attention was the struggle that still exists as new managers in the room transition from individual contributor to manager.  In many instances (especially in the past), managers were assigned because of their technical skill--not because they would be good managers.  Many terrible people managers were brilliant technically, and even had a broad background that allowed them to be good strategists.  But without the right mix of interpersonal and communications skills, they drove good employees down (or out).

Some new managers express the fear of "losing their technical edge," and not being able to set the direction for the team, or not being able to make decisions about technical issues.  They don't realize that they're moving into a "second career," where new skills are required, and older skills become less important (in fact, could even be a liability).  The old adage of "hiring people smarter than you" is not just a good idea, it's a necessity.  Your team will be taking on things that you won't have the skill to do yourself.  Your value will come from a other things you do.    

I'm glad to see the company bringing a lot more focus on bringing managers (with or without experience) together to build a common foundation of expectations.  I happen to work on a team with some great managers (especially my own), and I'm seeing the value of management skills being recognized and valued more and more. 

If you are someone who manages other managers, he gives a lot to think about, doesn’t he.

While it is true that workplace cultures change continuously, there are some basic needs that managers have, particularly newer managers, that remain constant. They may seem to be new challenges just because the present-day context is new, but they aren’t. The only question is if you still pay attention to them, or if you’ve become desensitized to them.

“Been there, done that” still means empathy is needed daily. Yet another reason for the Daily Five Minutes. Your managers need to be on the receiving end of the D5M too.

Not the Tomatoes!

Went to our local supermarket with hubby this afternoon. He knows that one of my favorite fruits to eat is the one we all think of as a vegetable; ripe, red, beautiful tomatoes. I’ll pick them up and eat them like apples; no full meal required. To consider them only an accompaniment to something else is not to understand their delectable heavenly glory.

There was a great display of them at the market today, and as I picked out some bananas at the other end of the produce counter, I watched hubby carefully choose the tomatoes for us (but really for me), gingerly putting them into a plastic bag one by one. Just watching his care with his choices put a big smile on my face.

Grocery shopping done, we arrive at the check stand and soon discover that our cashier is not a happy camper. No idea what it was, but by the time we arrived, whatever had set her off had cast a dark cloud over her entire countenance, and it was clearly affecting everyone else.

I watched as the two customers ahead of us quieted down and physically seemed to withdraw into themselves, visibly holding their breath in the hopes of finishing their transactions quickly, escaping any possible igniting of her seething wrath. To look at her was almost painful, and I couldn’t help but wonder just how long it had been since she’d last smiled.

It’s our turn, and hubby smiles at her and says, “Hello.”

She looks at him, still unsmiling, slightly lifts her head to just acknowledge that he said something to her, and starts to fling our items down the length of her check stand to a waiting bagger after she scans them. Corn on the cobb … umm, okay. Oh no, not the bananas too! Yes, even the bananas get flung.

The tomatoes are next; and now unable to resist after all his care in selecting them, hubby reaches his hand out to grab the tomatoes the moment she’s scanned them so she can’t fling them down to certain bruising as she’s done with everything else.

He’s broken the spell. She looks up at him, as if she’s only seeing us for the first time, the tears start to come, and she says, “I’m so sorry, thank you for stopping me.”

Hubby responds, “It’s okay, you can do this. You can make whatever it is okay. I know you can.”

She smiles, the smile I was hoping would come, and in mere moments everything seems to be okay.

I wonder… How long had this gone on? How many other customers had been affected before we got there? Was it just today, just with this one checker, or do others have days like this in that market? Where was the manager charged with creating a great workplace? Could he (or she) possibly have missed seeing the darkening mood, the cautious customers, the flung food? If not a manager, where was the co-worker to take notice, and to offer care? Why did so many people choose to walk on the eggshells and not protect their tomatoes?

Please notice. Just one employee can profoundly affect your business in so many ways.

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From the archives; The papaya tree

No longer a Sony customer

Like many 19-year olds, my son would love to get his hands on a Sony PS3. However gratefully, my son is a human being savvy enough to realize that getting one right now is just not worth it.

Knowing his mom as he does, I am sure he also understands that as much as I still adore playing Santa Claus for my kids, he is not getting a PS3 for Christmas.

In fact, in light of what is happening, he won’t get one for his birthday when April comes around either.

The way this product release has been handled is as irresponsible as a company can get. Creating hysteria and knowingly pitting gamers against each other and holiday shoppers to play the puppet strings of supply and demand for a product is just plain wrong. If you cannot produce enough (doubtful in Sony’s case) then distribute it in a narrower market and up the price if you have to, so that you handle the purchase experience as any ethical business person would.

I will never buy anything from Sony ever again.

As for the retailers participating in this madness, I’m not feeling much aloha for you now either. I am in total disagreement with the so-called retail and marketing experts who, "...put the onus on the people involved in the unruliness, not Sony Corp. or retailers for whipping up a frenzy about the product." From the Boston Herald.

I am not condoning the consumer behavior in the rash of unfortunate incidents that have resulted, however there is no excusing Sony Corp for purposely dangling the carrot in the first place, fully cognizant of what they were doing. Apparently they have gone through this before.

Take a look at my post footer for the categories this falls into; the whole situation violates just too many of my values. I have been in business all my working life, and am one of the most understanding people around when it comes to the business side of things, but in this case, Sony and their retailers get no empathy from me whatsoever.

They will also cease to get my patronage.

Turn off the lights and noise; Get some peace

I posted a bit ago about the documentary An Inconvenient Truth, Al Gore’s mission to educate us all about global warming. He’s been effective, at the very least within my own modest consciousness, for this past Sunday I rallied my family around the TV to watch “Global Warming: What You Need to Know With Tom Brokaw,” which was airing on the Discovery Channel.

It was excruciating to sit through most of the case-making. With every commercial, we’d turn to each other and say, “so when are they gonna talk about what we do about it?”

Yesterday’s TV event for us, was witnessing the tsunami destruction in Indonesia, and it naturally turned our commercial time discussion back to global warming, for notable parts of the Discovery Channel’s special were devoted to how the rising of the oceans’ temperatures significantly contributed to the ferocity of the Indian Ocean tsunami of December 26, 2004, and Hurricane Katrina’s more recent destruction of New Orleans in August of 2005.

Then, about an hour after the news, the power went out, and our house was bathed in darkness. My son was the first one to make a comment, and he said, “Great idea; this is one way to get us to turn stuff off. Maybe the power company should reintroduce rolling blackouts.”

Far different from the moaning and complaining we’d normally have done about it. It was about 7:30pm here, and it was much darker inside the house than outside. We all moved out to the porch which wraps around our house, instantly struck by how much cooler it was, and enjoyed watching the silence of the neighborhood with our neighbors.

Another hour later, and the power still hadn’t come back on. One by one, without really talking about it, we set about preparing for bed, and one by one, we drifted off. The lights woke me up at about 11:30pm when the power came back on, just long enough for me to turn everything off again and go back to bed.

This morning we all felt well rested, and full of energy, and it was from much more than just the extra sleep.

If you’d like to see it, the Discovery Channel special will air again on July 22nd, there is a video preview here.

Most important? “…the spirit of our people.”

I felt compelled to share a true story on the blog Synergy just now, in light of Trevor’s plea there that we all “focus on people, not programmes.”

In management, leadership and organisations I have always believed people matter more than programmes.
--- Trevor Gay

I think all of you will be inspired by the story just as I was today; it tells of the kind of organization where Managing with Aloha lives and thrives because of caring leadership. Click in for

“Please, do disappoint us.”

6.17.06 Saturday morning update:
Be sure you read the comments at the link above for an update to the story :-)

An endorsement worth more than gold

Speaking of volunteering… (To Volunteer is to Malama)… It pays off in huge ways.

Yesterday was my first day home in over two weeks, and I had a bin of mail to go through. The best surprise was a packet of 32 hand-made thank you cards from Stan Oliveira’s class at the Kea‘au Kamehameha High School. Here’s one of them:

“Dear Rosa Say,

Mahalo nui loa for taking some time off and talking to us kids. I know that it was free and that you usually make your customers pay but thank you for giving us some of the knowledge that you needed when you were growing up. I really learned a lot from you even if you just talked to us for an hour and a half but no wonder why people want your knowledge and buy your book because its not anything made up you experienced this and now you are helping others so that they hopefully have the same kind of experience as you did. Thank you so much again for bringing your knowledge to us and taking the time off for us.

Sincerely,
Kiwa K. Fong”

Kiwa’s card was beautifully printed, and then signed with this hand-written in postscript:

“P.S. You should keep this for when I’m famous.”

To Volunteer is to Mālama

This headline in my local paper hurt my heart today:

“State ranked among the lowest in volunteering”
From the Associated Press for the West Hawaii Today

“Hawaii residents are among the stingiest in the nation in volunteering their time, according to a national report released Monday.”

Ouch.

Well, I do like this attitude:

“We’re all going to the drawing board and taking a look at this,” said Lynn Dunn, state director of the CNCS (Corporation for National Community Service, the federal agency which conducted the study) “…to me there’s no bad news here; it’s a good way to raise the issue of volunteering in America, and all of us know we can’t just depend on government to address and support our communities. Volunteering is a way we can all get involved.”

When my children were younger, most of our volunteering was with the neighborhood sports they were constantly involved in. These days, Managing with Aloha has very naturally led me back to many school campuses again, however this article is giving me pause to think of more ways I can extend my mālama and aloha for our community locally.

What are you doing? Can we give each other more ideas for involvement?

Related articles in the local news (the print I’m reading is not online, but these are similar):
Ranking surprises local charities
Hawaii ranks near bottom for volunteers
And an update:
Volunteers just don't like to brag

Congratulations to the states making the top of the list for their volunteering; these were the top 5:

1. Utah
2. Nebraska
3. Minnesota
4. Iowa
5. Alaska

To Mālama, Address the Basics

When it comes to customer service we tend to make things much more difficult than they have to be. Customers have a set of basic needs, and when we practice the value of Mālama we address those needs in ensuring that we are taking care of them.

At first reading, this list may read pretty basic to you too. However can you imagine how thrilled we’d all be if this was the customer service we always received? Basic is a good thing to strive for;

The Six Basic Needs of Customers

1. Friendliness

Friendliness is the most basic of all customers needs, usually associated with being greeted politely, graciously, and with aloha. We all want to be acknowledged and welcomed by someone who sincerely is glad to see us. A customer shouldn’t feel they are an intrusion on our work day!

2. Understanding and empathy

Customers need to feel that we understand and appreciate their desires, circumstances and feelings without criticism or judgment.  Customers have simple expectations that we who serve them can put ourselves in their shoes, understanding what it is they came to us for in the first place; we identify that need and fulfill it.

3. Fairness

We all need to feel we are being treated fairly. Customers get very annoyed and defensive when they feel they are subject to any class distinctions. No one wants to be treated as if they fall into a certain category, left wondering if “the grass is greener on the other side” and if they only received second best.

4. Control

Control represents the customers’ need to feel they have an impact on the way things turn out.  Our ability to meet this need for them comes from our own willingness to say “yes” much more than we say “no.” Customers don’t care about policies and rules; they want to deal with us in all our reasonableness.

5. Options and alternatives

Customers need to feel that other avenues are available to getting what they want accomplished.  They realize that they don’t have all the answers, and they depend on us to be “in the know” and provide them with the “inside scoop.”  They get pretty upset when they feel they have spun their wheels getting something done, and we knew all along a better way, but never made the suggestion.

6. Information

“Tell me, show me – everything!” Customers need to be educated and informed about our products and services, and they don’t want us leaving anything out! They don’t want to waste precious time doing homework – they look to us for the answers.

As part of our MWA Jumpstart program, I talk more about how this list was something which became a Retail Campaign, and how we would use as full week’s lesson plan on Mālama for the customer:

Teaching and Coaching Mālama

Read more there about these Pocket Cards:

The Six Basic Needs of our Customers
How we can express our Mālama for them.

1. Friendliness: Greet and treat with aloha. It’s about who we are.
2. Understanding and empathy: Identify our guest needs and fulfill them.
3. Fairness and beyond: Give them our best, always.
4. Control: We’ll say “yes” way more than we say “no.” Policies and rules don’t “care” we do.
5. Options and alternatives: We’ll offer all we CAN do, and before they have to ask.
6. Information: We’ll offer all we know, all we have, and more than they thought they needed!

We are Mea Ho‘okipa.

This is part of our Ho‘ohana this month:
Our April Ho‘ohana is Mālama: What is Caring in business and at work?

There’s a movement brewing…
Ho‘ohana with us, and Manage with Aloha— Rosa

Mālama for the Customer who Complains

This month, our ho‘ohana has been to more fully learn and live the value of Mālama; to serve and to honor, to protect and care for.

With our guests and customers, we can be tested most on our alignment with this value when it comes to handling their complaints.

No matter how hard we may try to serve others in our work, and no matter how good our intentions are in doing so, there will be times in which “stuff happens.” The first thing we must do is tackle the problem head on and not avoid it if our customer is to feel we care about the situation, and that we truly care about them.

Easier said than done at times, I know. No one likes to walk into a problem situation in which they know a guest or customer isn’t pleased.

Well, one way to deal with that dread and avoidance, and practice Mālama at the same time, is to have a method with which everyone in your company understands how to handle customer complaints, and agrees works well. Once everyone learns it and commits to following the steps involved, they’ll feel they are better equipped to handle the situations which inevitably may crop up.

To Show you Care, Show your Respect

Preface: Our value of the month for April is Mālama, the Hawaiian value of caring, compassion, and stewardship. As we coach ourselves within this value, we are answering this question: What is Caring in business and at work?
Our April Ho‘ohana: Mālama

In the Hawaiian culture, the principle of respect is thought to largely come from a powerful combination of two values, Mālama and Aloha. Respect is the result of having both of these values determine one’s attitude, that is, an attitude of caring (Mālama) with love (Aloha).
[Taken from the teachings of Dr. George Kanahele, author of Kū Kanaka (Stand Tall)]

This opens quite a wealth of possibilities for showing you care in business and at work, doesn’t it.

Can you feel cared for if you feel you aren’t respected?

I don’t think so.

Last week, I explored this thought further by asking a group I spoke to, “What does it take for your manager to show you they respect you?”

These were some of the responses I got. A couple of them may be similar, but I wrote them down exactly as they listed them for me, and then as I later looked back at the list, I noticed a couple of things in how different words were chosen, and I decided to share this with you verbatim.