A charge for the Ho‘okipa Brigade: Social Graces

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Comments

[Robyn]

Hi Rosa, as with hospitality, courtesy is a way of showing value and respect for others. This is the kind of action that allows another driver go get ahead of you in busy traffic, rather than dashing in ahead of someone for a parking space. There are so many ways social graces are exhibited. Thanks for this reminder.

[Rosa Say]

Aloha Robyn, I do believe we must remind ourselves constantly about the ripple effect of our actions, for there is so little that we do in isolation; I believe we human beings are meant to live together in far more uplifting ways. I am quite sure we can all place ourselves in that example you give, when that taking or sharing of a parking space was a catalyst setting our mood for all the hours which followed! As the adage goes, for every action there is a reaction...

[Rich G.]

So often I wonder if I'm just getting older with the whole, "Whippersnappers today ain't got no respect..." thing, but there really does appear at times to be a crisis of manners around, where good manners and being polite and civil is confused with being a pushover.

Are we raising people so insecure in themselves that they're that determined to prove their toughness to others that they can't be civil to each other? It's a spooky proposition.

I'm all for a resurgence in manners, maybe we can start with Simon Cowell, his glamorizing rudeness as frankness or straight-shooting is NOT helping things.

[Rosa Say]

You raise a good point Rich. I have wondered how people can justify Simon Cowell's blatant disregard for human dignity by saying things like, "well, you've got to respect the guy's honesty." No I don't! There is a rich, encouraging vocabulary from which he could choose better words to use and still be honest and forthright.

We are living in a world of media bombardment where fame and celebrity is achieved much quicker with controversy and abrasiveness, and it is up to us to not accept it and thus give it credence.

[Wally Bock]

I am now 61. When I was growing up, good manners were expected. Said "please" and "thank-you" and "yes, sir" and "yes ma'am." People commented on your behavior if you did not do those things.

My grandsons, aged 9 and 11, are here this week. They are rambunctious boys, filled with energy. They are having great fun trying to catch tadpoles in the creek out back, trying to spot the beaver in the same creek, and swimming the afternoons away.

My daughter and her husband have brought them up to say "please" and "thank-you" and "yes, sir" and "yes ma'am." But when they do it, people comment on how wonderful it is that they have manners. Now good manners are a surprise.

But they're a good surprise. Civility and manners make the world a better place to be.

[April Groves]

Wally - I couldn't agree more.
Our children are raised the same way - we think it is one of the most important things we can teach our children.

The words "ma'am" and "sir" - while required - are not the point. It is the spirit of the message. Teaching respect is an important character trait. Courtesy, honor, integrity, hospitality - all of these characteristics, in my opinion, have their root in respect.