Managing with Aloha Coaching

Where is this “wellspring?” Your Ho‘ohana and your Sense of Place

ALOHA ~ ~ ~ Have you newly arrived here at Managing with Aloha Coaching? Thank you for clicking in! Each month, we adopt a Hawaiian value to study together in a universal way, thus the tagline you see up top: Value Your Month, Value Your Life. I publish a new coaching essay here every Tuesday. They are essays, longer than most blog posts, and though you can read them through once in less than a Daily 5 Minutes, they are intended to give you a full week’s worth of Ho‘ohana-inspired self-coaching. This month we are learning about Nānā i ke kumu: Look to your Source, Find your Truth. Begin here: Day One Essay for a quick introduction. We’ll wait! Welcome! ~ Rosa Say

Our Value Study: Nānā i ke kumu. This is 1st Tuesday.

Last Tuesday, we defined Nānā i ke kumu through its’ literal root words, Nānā and Kumu.

• We learned that when we string those root meanings together, what the value of Nānā i ke kumu says to you, is that YOU —your mind, body, spirit, your all of you —is your best possible source to respect and honor as your teacher; within you is all the personal truth you need, both source and capacity to learn.

• We learned that Nānā i ke kumu is not selfishness or ego; it is self-attuned learning and living.

We called Nānā i ke kumu a wellspring. Today, where, and exactly what IS this “wellspring?”

Get the most out of Nānā i ke kumu with Value-Alignment

To start, we need to make this immediately personal for you, and the best way to do that is with value alignment. Step one is to know which values you claim as your personal ones.

During the month of September, I offered up a quick values-choosing exercise within our work to write a Ho‘ohana Statement draft for ourselves. If you are newly joining us, or if you had decided that you could not do the full-immersion Ho‘ohana study last month, I would encourage you to just go back to that one part of values-choosing: Read the entire posting titled, Writing a Ho‘ohana Draft part 1: Your Intention and Your Personal Values, and do the exercise.

It will not take you long at all, and most important, it will help you set your intention for the month to come, and we know how powerful intention is, don’t we! Your intentions focus your attentions, and your attention may be the most valuable “transactional currency” you possess.

From our Day One Essay for this month: Nānā i ke kumu: Look to your Source, Find your Truth: “Nānā i ke kumu is a value which brings clarity to your other values: It is a kind of lens through which you can see what most rings true for you instinctively.” “The Nānā i ke kumu reward is one of grounding and contentment; it helps you feel all is right in your world. The value of Nānā i ke kumu asks us to “look to your source, and find your truth” recognizing that Aloha gives us each an inner wellspring; we go to this inner well and drink from it to get healthy in our best way possible, body, mind, and spirit.”

Go to the Well

Let’s get “Go to the Well” to be a short but sweet mantra for us.

Think of a well as a place you go to so you can drink deeply of the most refreshing, rejuvenating water possible, readily available for you whenever you need it. It’s water that quenches the thirst of your source and your truth. What’s in your magic water?

1. Your Personal Values, for they drive your behavior —your best-possible, self-attuned behavior.
2. The truth of your Ho‘ohana, your intention with doing worthwhile, and self-led work (versus the work of someone else’s plan).
3. Your Strengths. Your source and your truth is about what is absolutely right with you, about every strength which individually and collectively help you feel vitally and forcefully strong.
4. Your awareness of all these first three things as solely about YOU as a complete package, and as a very, very good one, and then...
5. Your Connections. Life is not a solo proposition; we human beings were not meant to live alone.

I have long thought of our connections in life as having to do with relationship, with sense of place, and with our profound capacity as human beings:

• We connect with other people (Relationship)
• We connect with places (Sense of Place), and
• We connect with ideas (Capacity). Our ideas stem from many different causes; they come from our intellect, they come from our emotions, and they come from our spirit. They come from the first two; from other people, and from our places.
  (From the Archives: “Inspiration” is ‘in-spirit.’ Thus Inspiration is Aloha, and Palena ‘ole: Discover your 4-Fold Capacity.)

Therefore, to connect with your source and your truth within Nānā i ke kumu this month, you may want to reflect on your connections: Journal about them in your morning pages, or each night with your gratitude journal.

As promised today, I want to talk a bit more about one in particular, Sense of Place. But before I do, let me give the last word on connection to my friend, author Michael Stallard. In the introduction to his book, Fired Up or Burned Out, he writes:

We Must Connect with Others to Thrive

The more we [the principals of E Pluribus Partners] reflected on our own experiences and the more research we conducted about what makes people and organizations thrive, the more [we] became convinced that it came down to this: connection. Our connection with others in our organization keeps us fired up for long periods of time. Connection meets basic human psychological needs for respect, recognition, belonging, autonomy, personal growth, and meaning. When these needs are met, we thrive. Research shows that when connection is present, organizations are more productive, more innovative, and more profitable. Our lives, including the time we spend working, are enriched… conversely, the lack of connection will gradually burn us out. Organizational environments where connection is low or absent diminish our physical and mental health.

—Michael Lee Stallard, Fired Up or Burned Out
(meet Michael at his blog, and do consider getting his book, it’s a gem, especially if you are fired up about reinventing your workplace culture.)

Photo Credit: welly wellly welly welly well on Flickr by 顔なし.

“Inspiration” is ‘in-spirit.’ Thus Inspiration is Aloha.

HCer* Joanna Young has been asking us this month, “What inspires you?”

Her theme for her coaching at Confident Writing has been Fire-Breathing Dragons: Inspiration Is The Theme For March, a follow-up to another conversation I was delighted to participate in with her.

As you might imagine, my immediate stream of consciousness answers, as the sources of my inspiration, spill out as;

• Aloha (thus, Managing with Aloha),
• Ho‘ohana (thus this site),
• New learning of some kind (thus Brex, and my moonlighting as the managing editor of Joyful Jubilant Learning), and
• Opportunities for energetic creativity (thus my Ho‘ohana Aloha tumbling).

I’d like to expand a bit more on Aloha for today.

In the work I do…

…I am inspired when I see someone connect to their own spirit of Aloha personally: It reaffirms my core beliefs about the inherent goodness in people, and thus the sense of hope and promise I carry with me. I truly believe that human beings are only born good, and meant to produce more good.

This is one of those instances for me where, to paraphrase a once-popular song, “if I am wrong, I don’t want to be right.”

You could correctly say that this is a decision or conclusion I have come to by way of the values I have chosen to live my life by; I wouldn’t argue the point. You could accurately say that I have bought into the stories that many kūpuna (elders) have shared with me; stories about how their values have played out in their lives. I eagerly gulp in their evidential validity hook, line and sinker and admit that I do: A person’s immutable truth (Nānā i ke kumu for them) is not something I question; I know they are conclusions I accept as fact, inspired by the journey they have taken to arrive there.

“The greatest friend of truth is Time, her greatest enemy is Prejudice, and her constant companion is Humility”
—Charles Caleb Colton, English cleric, writer and collector of aphorisms and short essays on conduct (1780-1832)
—Shared with me by Lynette Spicer in Humility in the Workplace

Come to think of it, I suppose this is why biographies are my second favorite genre of books to read (behind non-fiction business)… they are Nānā i ke kumu stories of self-mastery and personal self-attuned thinking people are willing to share; it is their aloha spirit.

In the life I live…

…I am inspired when I see those expressions that people more commonly associate with Aloha; the sharing of the Aloha Spirit in the ‘social graces.’ One of the hopes that I have for our world is simply to see us become much nicer to each other, with behavior that is befitting of our own personal dignity (Ho‘ohanohano). We have a long way to go with our giving of respect.

“I love customer service. I firmly believe that customer service is the new marketing, and that companies that provide great customer service will far surpass those who don’t in the coming years. It won’t be products that separate the good companies from the great companies; it will be the service those great companies provide that will elevate them to greatness.”
~ Phil Gerbyshak for Joyful Jubilant Learning within a book review on The Celebrity Experience by Donna Cutting

I could not agree more. And I believe we have to focus on basic social graces, not just the expediency of efficient customer service. Yes, we love it when we are attended to quickly, however we want to be treated well, with enough time and attention given to us in the genuine expression that we matter. We want the aloha connection.
~ Commentary I added on Ho‘ohana Aloha, March 19th

I am inspired by parents today who are teaching their children to be polite, to be helpful, and to be kind. I am inspired by teachers who expect these social graces of respect in their classrooms, and by business owners who expect them in their workplaces, and seek to associate an aloha reputation with their brand (and reputation is awarded by others, not self-proclaimed).
[HCer* April Groves wrote a great guest post for me at Talking Story in regard to this: The Business End of Southern Hospitality, and her parenting essays are wonderful too.]

We, my husband and I, would say that our son and daughter have good manners, and that they are quite polite and helpful, yet we could have done much more with demonstrating our own kindness to others outside the family so that they in turn, would be more civic minded and generous in the giving they in turn now deliver outside their circles of friends and family. We, and I, can still do so much more.

Thus seeing these things in others, people more kind, generous, thoughtful and giving than I, inspires me greatly. Good manners and civility merely scratch the surface: Genuine giving of our aloha goes deeper, affecting both giver and receiver.

I need to be more of an originator and less of a watcher. Inspiration for more good is a very, very good reason.

“Inspiration” is when we can say we are ‘in-spirit’ and have the respect for each other which helps us be better. Thus to me, Inspiration is Aloha.

Your turn: What is inspiration to you?

I would love to hear from you. We Ho‘ohana together,
~ Rosa

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Mahalo, thank you for reading today.

• If you would like to read more about Aloha, you may enjoy Aloha in A Love Affair with Writing, another writing inspiration I thank, and appreciate Joanna for!
• If you would like to read more about Ho‘ohanohano you have picked the perfect month, and I recommend you start here: Ho‘ohanohano: No more jerks for managers
• If you would like to read more about Nānā i ke kumu, try this one: Ho‘ohana; Nānā i ke kumu, Look to your Source
• I have written about the ‘social graces’ connected to Ho‘okipa, the Hawaiian value of hospitality. You can read a short post (and challenge!) here:  A charge for the Ho‘okipa Brigade: Social Graces

*HCer stands for Ho‘ohana Community member. Join up!

Photo Credit: "Did I say something funny?" found on Flickr by capn madd matt.

How are those values working for you, hmm?

We are well into the third week of our value study: Ho‘ohanohano can be pretty powerful, don’t you think?

I gave you this gentle coaching back in January as the year started: Say No to Resolutions: Choose your Values instead.

“That is the core belief of Managing with Aloha: Values drive behavior. So get the behaviors you want by keeping the values you revere front and center at all times… You will best get things done through others by incorporating the values you share with them, values that embrace collaboration, and values that also are fundamental good practices… and Aloha is the most universally held value of them all.”

You really can’t go wrong with Aloha; working with Aloha basically comes down to being true to who you are, where ultimate transparency = finely attuned self-mastery. ‘Working with Aloha’ is honoring your own spirit.

However Aloha is the foundation; it is the fertile ground in which all the other values thrive and prosper with ‘root caused’ authenticity too. So which are the others you have kept front and center?

Thus far for 2008, we have studied Pono in January, Kuleana in February, and are currently immersed in Ho‘ohanohano this month. You may have decided that these values work for you too, or you may have used them to draw parallels and connections with other values.

Value Alignment in Practice

Need an example? Well, there is nothing easier to write about than a personal one… Back in January, within that same “Choose your Values instead” posting, I had shared that in my company, Say Leadership Coaching, I would be working with…

Pono, for a newly designed Rightness and Balance as a solo entrepreneur. My “we”s will steadily become “I”s.

As I had shared with my SLC newsletter subscribers this past summer, I am transitioning our 'Ohana in Business where every single person becomes a solo entrepreneur, and April 1 is the transition date where everyone is officially on their own.

Pono will continue to be my year-long self-reckoning, where I can continually ask myself, “Is this action Pono for me, and is my new business model Pono for my customers and all other stakeholders?”

Well, as of this writing, I am twelve days from that April 1 target. I made the “solo” part ahead of schedule, and SLC is down to me, myself, and I, with the partners that I do still have working with me as independent contractors who have started their own businesses: In essence, I am one of their clients in whatever capacity I may still be using their services.

However life is not meant to be a completely solo journey, and as I had anticipated, the “rightness and balance of Pono” will indeed continue to be a self-reckoning for me on the quality of all the relationships I hold with others (including you who read this site!)

Then, in February…

Ho‘ohanohano and the Law of Reciprocity

We just talked about Ho‘ohanohano and approachability, and Steve Sherlock cut to the chase for us in a comment he shared:

Approachability is important, almost more so than listening. If they won't come close enough to talk, we won't hear what they have to say.

I love how Steve wrote that we won't hear what they have to say, not that they won't hear what we have to say... so wise!

Well, approachability was indeed our warm up, and Steve intuitively nailed something instantly: Approachability just scratches the surface of what Ho‘ohanohano does for us.

Ultimately, the goal of creating a demeanor of distinction with Ho‘ohanohano is about becoming more attractive and magnetic, so people are drawn toward getting into a relationship of some kind with you, and will commit to keeping that relationship healthy and mutually rewarding.

They work with you because they want to, and not just because they have to; they sense your support and uplifting nature. They will actively seek you out because they enjoy the experience of being with you. They aren't sure exactly how you manage to do so for them, but they feel better about themselves when they are with you --- it's the respect and dignity creation of Ho‘ohanohano, and your deliberate focus on it so that respect and dignity are not just left to chance.

Ho‘ohanohano in your value system is vitally important if you have chosen the role of the manager, joining me on my reconstruction crusade, fully buying in to my assertion that the calling of great managers is about people-work and not process-work.

Ho‘ohanohano in your value system is vitally important individually, if your goal with learning Managing with Aloha is the self-improvement of self-management, and you have committed to living those Twelve Rules of Self-Management, personal value alignment, and developing your four-fold capacity (Palena ‘ole).

In both cases (and managers in the Managing with Aloha culture must do both) the goal is building better relationships: A great relationship is a solid foundation and it's a springboard to more possibility.

The Law of Reciprocity ensures that relationships are not just one way; they are mutually rewarding.

Aloha in A Love Affair with Writing

Joanna Young of our Ho‘ohana Community recently commented for me at Talking Story, writing,

Rosa, I was thinking about you and writing this morning, when I was writing about the breath of life we can see or feel in our writing. I was wondering if you would talk about that as aloha, how we can write with aloha, putting something of ourselves into our words.

Hawai‘i Orchid by R. J. Malfalfa.
[photo credit]

And I know you love to write :-)

This was my response;

Ah, to write about aloha, the ‘breath of life’ as the expression of one’s love affair with writing? Now that is an invitation I cannot pass up! So, write on that I will… for now, to quickly respond to “I was wondering if you would talk about that as aloha, how we can write with aloha, putting something of ourselves into our words.” Yes, that is exactly what I would first say about connecting aloha with writing; aloha-filled writing is that which is a transparent view into the writer’s mana‘o – the personally felt beliefs, thoughts, and convictions borne of their values lived in their context (sense of place).

Simply said, aloha writing is ‘me, myself and I’ writing.

Joanna and I are speaking of the literal meaning of aloha:

Aloha is the full expression (alo) of our ‘breath of a life’ (ha).

We say breath of life knowing of how one’s breath is as unique to you as your fingerprint and your ‘me, myself and I’ DNA —there is no one else on the planet who is exactly like you. There never was, and there never will be.

February 29: Love-Minded Aloha All Day Long!

Remember the Love-minded Aloha Challenge I proposed to you on Valentines Day?

If you take the link back there you can read all the lead up, but what it came to was this:

For the last hour of your workday today, do only what you most LOVE to do at work. Do it before then if you can, but do it for the last hour for sure —we all will.

I have gotten some great messages from those of you who took me up on this, and for most it turned out to purely be some Valentines Day permission to have fun and goof off in the last hour of the day. There is a lot to be gained for having more fun at work, and so I've been counting all your stories as a great success.

You've made me smile. This was from Bryan:

"Liked the idea Rosa, for I get the whole strengths connection, and it's always good giving people the chance to let their guard down and just go for it. I've forwarded your stuff before, but this time I didn't think I could just because that was a crunch day for us with a few people cramming some deadlines. Then someone else in the office who gets your emails went ahead and forwarded it to everyone else anyway. So much for trying to be a good guy; I got ribbed the rest of the day for being too chicken and aloha gun-shy this time."

Then yesterday I received the greatest thing: A belated Valentines Day card in the mail with about a dozen signatures from the crew at a landscaping and garden supply company.

The manager enclosed a longer letter, writing that he decided he'd go for it and accept my challenge, but did so on Friday, the 15th so he could plan ahead for all the staggered shifts they use and tell everyone about it as soon as they arrived at work. He called it "Strong Aloha Friday" to really emphasize the question, "What makes you feel strong when you are here?" He was pretty blown away to see what everyone did when they had complete permission to choose only what they liked to do best of all, especially how long-term employees seized the chance to do some things completely outside their normal job. He wrote, "When did they learn all of that, and how could I not have noticed before?"

Then he added, "much as I hate to admit it, people don't go home smiling every single day, but on Friday we did. We all did."

Just as Lisa shared with us in her comment,

I think if you think about your strengths it not only validates your self worth but helps you realize what makes you happy. Therefore, if you do what makes you happy it's contagious to everyone around you! I think you can then see what other employees strengths are and encourage and appreciate what makes them so valuable at work.

Now I fully realized I was giving you a workplace challenge where fun or no fun, you still have to perform. The reality is that we have responsibilities (Kuleana!) that always frame the decisions we make, and we accept that. I give you a challenge like this because of the faith I have in the basic goodness in people, and the desire that people have to do well. You may recall this, which I shared from Marcus Buckingham not that long ago:

The reason you do this program [his Go Put Your Strengths to Work 6-Step program] is performance, not happiness. The happiness may come as a fringe benefit, for working primarily within your strengths energizes you, but the point is performance. We focus on strengths because it is the most efficient way to get someone to perform.

When and if weaknesses get in the way, it is your responsibility to deal with them if you are a manager in business. The weakness part of the program is important because we don’t just stop doing them, we manage around them. Sometimes, those tasks which are weaknesses must get done, and you do have to just suck it up and do them.

I run into this with Managing with Aloha as well. Say “aloha” and the first thought most people have is that the philosophy must be all warm and fuzzy, for how can being “Mr. or Ms. Aloha with everyone,” i.e. just being a nicer and better person, be a completely viable and comprehensive strategy for business?

My answer is the same as Buckingham’s; I wrote Managing with Aloha to help managers perform better, addressing that responsibility they have with getting things done through other people in the best way possible, AND understanding that “getting things done” will likely have repercussions they (and you) need to understand and deal with. My hope for you is that in this dealing with those repercussions, you get more pro-active over time, and less re-active. I think of the MWA philosophy as one that drives proactivity, so that all the work you do is intentional (Ho‘ohana).

The story (and the Challenge) continues...

Scott, the manager who sent me the card, said that he's decided to see what will happen if they stretch their Love/Strengths-Minded Aloha Challenge to an entire day, especially when people know it's coming so far in advance and can plan for it. How great is that?!

They have chosen next Friday, February 29th because "we figure it's the extra day this year and can be considered found time anyway. It'll be a day that is easy to remember, that's for sure!"

Scott wrote that he's particularly eager to see who works with who versus independently, for a whole day gives you a lot of different choices. He's left all the shifts intact, but what they do during that shift is completely up to them, long as they handle the business at hand, and this will be their chance to effectively create their own job the way they want it that day. Scott says he's willing to "let their actions give me whatever messages they want to give me."

Who knows Scott, maybe your business is ready for more growth or ‘branching out’ than you have previously thought!

And I loved this next line in Scott's letter: "When we talked about it later, we all had to agree that when the work you love is talking through the actions which are your strengths it's probably the truth for you."

I have to agree too. If the truth is pono integrity that is good for you as a person, seems to flow naturally that it can be good for your company (and your business) too.

I know that all work situations are different, but what do you think?

Can you join Scott and his crew on Friday, February 29th in an all-day Love/Strengths-minded Aloha Challenge?

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If you are joining us for the first time, this link will take you to my original Love-Minded Aloha Challenge posting done on Valentines Day.

‘branching out’ photo found on Flickr by shapeshift.

Are you up for a Love-minded Aloha Challenge today?

What better day is there than Valentine's Day to celebrate ALOHA, the universal value of unconditional love of others, and the unconditional love of self?

Yet as I thought about this, I wondered how I could help with a more concrete coaching suggestion on how to make this Valentine's Day more useful for us at work. What could we all do that was pretty simple, but could also be pretty effective?

This is what I came up with: We could reveal our strengths, and we could ask others we work with to reveal their strengths too.

Why? Pure and simple, strengths make us feel stronger, better, and more confident. More useful to others.

So, I'm sending this missive out as a Valentine's Day suggestion to all of you who have some kind of subscription with me, either for my newsletters or my feeds: Wear your heart, and your strengths on your sleeve today! It's not that hard to do; you just do what you love...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Aloha Valentines Day Ho‘ohana Community!

Are you up for a Love-minded Aloha challenge today?

I've been having conversations with managers this month about their Kuleana, and what is and what is not their responsibility. We all seem to agree on this:

• Managers matter most when they work with people.
• Therefore, it is the manager's responsibility to help people thrive.
• People thrive at work when the vital work they do is an expression of their strengths.
• In other words, thriving work is vital work you are really good at.

Here's our challenge though: Strengths can be hard for managers to spot unless they look like tangible activities. Strengths can be hard for people to explain, even when the ones they are trying to describe are their own.

Well, I can tell you this. 99 times out of a 100, when someone is doing something at work that they LOVE to do, that "something" is somehow connected to one of their strengths. When we work within our strengths, we get positive jolts of energy, and feelings of satisfaction that make us feel great. We feel a part of our own aloha spirit.

So managers, look for, listen for, and put your feelers out for the LOVE. In fact, you don't have to be a manager for this challenge; everyone who cares about the other people they work with can take it up too. Today is Valentines Day, and it is the PERFECT opportunity for you to do this. Here's some help you can say you got from a workplace aloha coach: Me.

Copy and paste, or forward my message in an email: Send this message (a challenge for you) to the people you work with (an invitation for them)... Here's my Love-minded Aloha Challenge for you both today:

Don't wait until you go home to celebrate your Valentine's Day Aloha. For the last hour of your workday today, do only what you most LOVE to do at work. Do it before then if you can, but do it for the last hour for sure —we all will.

Trust yourself: Trust that if you LOVE it (LOVE it, not LIKE it, or are OKAY with it), it comes from within the aloha you feel when you're at work, and trust it is GOOD.

Have yourself an Aloha Valentines Day.

“Managing with Aloha” is not enough today: Live and work with Aloha.

Be a lot nicer, speak a lot kinder, feel a lot stronger. We all will!
~ Rosa

Valentine Card photo credit: a photoset on Flickr by valart2008.

Is Pono where Integrity goes?

I received an email about my Day One Essay for Pono, and the HCer (Ho'ohana Community member) who wrote asked,

"Is Pono where integrity goes Rosa? I will talk story with my staff about Pono this month, for I think it's a great value to kick off our year with, and I am thinking that I'd like to describe it as the value of balance, rightness, and integrity, where those three things will result in contentment for us both individually, and as a team when we openly talk with each other about what it will take to get there."

Those are the kind of deductions that make for great mantras in a workplace! Love it! What a terrific value formula to drive desired behavior with:

Balance + Rightness + Integrity = Contentment

“Forget mission statements; they’re long, boring, and irrelevant. No one can ever remember them — much less implement them. Instead, take your meaning and make a mantra out of it. This will set your entire team on the right course.”
~ Guy Kawasaki in Art of the Start

To answer our HCer's question, yes, I agree that Pono can correctly be called the value of personal integrity. I think of integrity as telling ourselves the truth, and acting in the way that feels right according to that that truth. Here is an MWA excerpt that sums it up in my mana'o (my thoughts, beliefs, convictions).

This is found on page 20, in Chapter One on Aloha:

Our values drive our beliefs, and often they give our thoughts clarity. When we are true to our beliefs, the decisions and choices we make come to us naturally and easily, especially when we have a goal or objective in mind. It is easier to act on that which you believe. I am a strong advocate for the writing of mission statements, as you will discover when we reach the chapter on ‘Imi ola (to seek life). Our mission defines our goals, and our goals drive our actions. And actions taken, true to clear beliefs that have been borne from good values, give us our integrity. Acting with integrity makes things right for us; it feeds our hunger to be intelligent, ethical and morally just.

It is human nature that we will often justify not doing certain things that we know, deep in our heart, mind, and soul, is the right thing to do. Our justifications - I'm too busy, this is not a good time, etc., serve as a kind of self-preservation instinct that we are still good people inside, there are just these extenuating circumstances out of our control.

For me, the truth-telling of personal integrity is a more diligent self-questioning: Are those circumstances really are out of my control or not? To be sure, this self-talk (and self-reckoning) is more difficult, but it is so necessary if you are to get to contentment! Acting with integrity can be difficult in the moment of those actions; it can be downright unpleasant. However in the long run — in that goodness within us we feed and nurture — we always emerge through that "light at the end of the tunnel."

To be content, your heart cannot ache, your mindfulness cannot be dismissed, your gut intuition cannot be dishonored, and your soul cannot be kept restless, all without what we usually refer to as "peace of mind."

Crystal Being Etched on Flickr by dlkinney:

Photo caption: This is a close-up of a crystal bowl receiving its markings. You can see how the markered lines are used to provide the worker with guidance as to the size and location of marks. The trick is to make the cuts deep, but not so deep as to reduce the structural integrity of the piece -- or cut all the way through. Like the glass blowers, the etching artists are paid for the number of pieces that pass quality inspection. A bowl like the one in his hand can take two to four hours to complete.

 

 

 

A very thoughtful and deliberate man, my dad used to tell us that you get peace of mind with just about anything you do from going the distance. Integrity is telling yourself the truth and "nothing but the truth" about what that distance is, and the role you need to play.

Then there is the action part, for as I like to say, wishing and hoping alone is not a very effective strategy. The part of the email that made me smile from ear to ear was the last phrase: "and as a team when we openly talk with each other about what it will take to get there."

Big mahalo for the email, and keep them coming HCers: Don't think I could have set myself up better than you did for an article about integrity!

Living Mahalo with my Dailies

Stephen’s Day

I have an annual ritual for November 28th. It is the birthday of someone now in heaven who was exceptionally special to me, and so in his honor I call this Stephen’s Day. When Stephen died, I decided that I needed to commemorate the day somehow, so I would keep remembering and working on some of the things he had taught me to be grateful for during all the time he blessed my days. Having his birthday fall at the end of November, a month I have always associated with the diligent, focused practice of Mahalo (appreciation, gratitude, and thankfulness) seemed to be an added affirmation.

That affirmation has now become gift. For remember, living within mahalo is living within thankfulness for each element which makes your life precious to you.

Kēia Manawa

Stephen was someone who could focus on the present moment clearly and with perceptive intensity, able to see the everything existing in the here and now. In Hawai‘i we call this kēia manawa, living in moments which seize the day with both hands, with heart, mind, gut and soul. Kēia la; today you own the day.

Stephen was someone who never looked behind him, easily letting things go and leaving the past behind. What was over was done. He was also someone who was never in a rush to have tomorrow come, fully knowing that a single day is never long enough for us mere humans to milk it fully of all its possibility. However have no hesitation or doubt: We were here to try. And try he did, Stephen lived his too-short life in a joyous way that made everyone else feel lucky to be on earth with him.

However Stephen was not obsessive about whatever he chose to do either; in fact, he had relaxing down to an art form. His was a life of contentment. When you live in Mahalo as Stephen did, you die with no regrets.

My Dailies

This is my annual ritual: On November 28 I rewrite my Dailies for the next year to come, starting from scratch and letting my self’s intention do any remembering. My Dailies fill a simple list on a single sheet of paper, and I print a dozen copies, putting them wherever I may need them to be readily accessible for me. The electronic copy goes on my calendar as a daily recurrence for 5am so I read it whenever I first switch online.

On my list of dailies is everything I would want to do each and every day if I could possibly fit them all in.

From year to year my list has gotten longer, though I do stick to my one-page-only rule, and frankly, I have never had a day where I did everything on it. If you add up all the minutes, it probably isn’t even possible.

But here’s the rub: Without my Dailies, I probably wouldn’t accomplish half the things I do each day; I would not manifest as many possibilities as I do, and I would miss opportunities I now see more clearly. Looking at the dailies I have just now written, I usually do achieve the first ten at minimum.

Mahalo for a brand new year to come

Here are the Stephen’s Day dailies I settled on today. Those of you who have read my writing regularly over the past year will recognize the influences :) I’ve added in some explanatory italics and links for you. Values are in bold, and you can find those links in the column to the right.

The Environment and Managing with Aloha

Leo Babauta wrote, “When I sat down to write my Blog Action Day post, I tried to figure out what the “environment” has to do with some of the main themes of Zen Habits: simplicity, frugality, health and fitness, happiness. In what way are these ideas related to the environment?”

I thought this was a great idea. What say we try to figure out what the environment has to do with our main themes of aloha, values, work, business, management, and leadership?

Aloha: Aloha means we look for the beauty in people, seeking to connect with their inner spirit, getting it to come out and play with us, to be with us. How does this help the environment? In so many ways! It keeps us with people, learning to engage with each other with a greater fascination, instead of the more materialistic pursuits which add more clutter and waste, filling our landfills with the temporary diversions we soon tire of. Aloha on the other hand, is timeless and endlessly intriguing.

Aloha keeps giving and giving back: You could say that Aloha is the star recycler.

Values: In Managing with Aloha I offer you nineteen to start with, however you can look to your own heart, mind and soul to come up with the list toppers which create your true convictions (your mana‘o). We have a little of each value which appeals to us, and the entire list would be quite lengthy (there are 42 listed on a worksheet I use in my class exercises).

Similar to Aloha, I would bet that those convictions which ring true to you reveal beauty all around you, for you ‘see’ them with eyes of respect and appreciation. I would also bet that they somehow relate to your sense of place, and your Mālama ‘āina, care for the land. Take gratitude (Mahalo) as but one example, “living in thankfulness for all the elements that make our lives so precious.” What are those environmental elements for you?

Work: There are a myriad of ways that our work leaves a lasting footprint on the environment, sometimes good, sometimes not so good. Is this something we are mindful of? Take this day to make your own assessment.

My work mantra is Ho‘ohana, to work with purpose and intention, and thus it has much to do with connecting intention to just about everything; no 9 to 5 attitude, and no sleep-walking through the work day, going through the motions with busy-work versus on-purpose work. On-purpose work leaves a much better ‘footprint on the environment’ for it is the work we choose to do for the good it brings to our lives.

See Celebrate your Work and some old fashioned Values.

Business: We who have chosen the world of business have so many advantages which enable us to be activators who make things happen. Compare the quick decisiveness of free enterprise to the bureaucratic snail’s pace belabored through in government and the public educational process.

And I include non-profits: Ho‘ohana Community member James Koshiba, is co-founder of Kanu Hawai‘i, a nonprofit organization that works to create a more sustainable Hawai‘i, and he speaks of our “island intelligence” being a heightened awareness and understanding that resources are not boundless, that ecosystems are fragile, and that cultural diversity is to be valued and respected. Kanu Hawai‘i exists to be the ambassador of this message, however it is one that can be repeated and internalized in every business.

“If every person in the world lived as Americans do, consuming as Americans do, it would take more than six-and-a-half earths to sustain the human race.” —James Koshiba

Management: How does this internalization of ‘green responsibility’ and care for the environment happen? Through the creation of a work culture which embraces the message and seeks ways to walk the talk, by connecting sustainability initiatives to company values and strategic objectives. This is what great management does: Create corporate cultures which matter, and which feel Pono, good and right to all who work within it.

This is the Role of the Manager as seen through the MWA curriculum:

MY MANA‘O (what I believe to be true) ~ ~ ~ If I were to reduce it to its essence, I would boil management down to four things. 1. People: Managers concentrate on strengths and make weaknesses irrelevant. 2. Place: Managers create great workplaces where people thrive. 3. Mission: Managers get the work to make perfect sense. 4. Vision: Managers expect and promote the exceptional. 2008 Update: I expand on this here ~ The Role of the Manager in Managing with Aloha: The case for a better way to work.

Leadership: Leaders think bigger. Leaders inspire. Leaders help us see future visions with more clarity, describing it in a compelling way, and tooting their message until we feel we can see it, hear it, and feel it too. Leaders know that just about everything can be done, and it’s just a matter of who will take action to make it happen first. Leaders don’t wait for probability, they charge ahead when they get their earliest glimmers of possibility. And when it comes to our precious environment we no longer can afford to wait.

Again, think deeply about the values of your company and how they are expressed. Think deeply about Kuleana, and your responsibility for Leadership, and ask yourself what you can do, and do best.

See Branding fame, the ability to provoke, and degrees of follow-up: As asked there, What are the values of your company, and what ability do they give you to provoke masterful follow-up?

Read Leo’s posting at Zen Habits for 5 Ways [to] Save the World, While Getting Fitter, Saving Money, Simplifying, and Becoming Happier.

In reading through some other Blog Action Day postings yesterday, I found these to also be good examples of how our very creative writers within the Ho‘ohana Community connected respect for the environment to their Ho‘ohana (the work they do): So clever!

• Tony Clark: 5 Reasons Why Home-Based Entrepreneurship is the Ultimate Eco-Friendly Gig
• Joanna Young: 20 ways to cut your words and help to save the planet and How to recycle your words.
• In addition to her own Ho‘ohana connection of Brain-Based Business, Robyn McMaster also illustrates how leadership matters: Ram Shrivastava, CEO, Walks the Talk of Sustainability!

Here is the Blog Action Day Wrap Up. Truly an illustration of how powerful a single idea can be.