Writing a Ho‘ohana Draft part 1: Your Intention and Your Personal Values

Welcome back!

Thank you for checking in with me, and with our for our MWA Tuesday Coaching. This is what we have done so far:

1. Day One Essay: Ho‘ohana: Redefine the word “work” and make it yours.
2. Tuesday Coaching/ Week #1: Why Bother with Ho‘ohana, and “Worthwhile Work” at all?
3. Tuesday Coaching/ Week #2: Our Ho‘ohana Language of Intention: Are we talking about the same thing?
4. Mid-month Recap (on Talking Story): Day 15: Value your Month, Value your Life with Ho‘ohana.

Completing our Ho‘ohana Language of Intention

Last time we worked on our Language of Intention with work, job (and jobs), Aloha, and Ho‘ohana.

There is one more definition we should talk about, a word I have used quite a bit up to now: INTENTION. Intention is powerful stuff; and thus intention is a great thing to learn to harness and use.

Your intention moves you in certain directions; it propels you toward action in a very empowering way, because it originates within your wants, needs, and burning desires. Your intention, whether you are aware of it or not, drives your self-motivation, and self-motivation is the only kind of motivation there is.

Think about this for a moment: We only accept total accountability for responsibility we are self-motivated in some way to accept and own completely; quite frankly, we have no interest in sharing it. We are so passionate (and so clear) about that responsibility we want to be in complete control of our own destiny. More brutal honesty: When we are already clear, we are more interested in the cooperation of others as opposed to their collaboration.

When we find ourselves in this place of complete, self-motivated ownership, we will seize the authority we need to make things happen.

The question for most of us is this: Do my intentions control me (and perhaps wreak their havoc on my life in circumstantial, reactionary fashion), or do I deliberately design, and therefore purposely (and proactively) direct my intentions in the most useful and prosperous way I can?

What you intend is what you will do.

What you do repeatedly over time, is who you become.

As we learned last week; language can reinforce what we do.

Your Intention and Your Personal Values

Our intentions have their origins in our values. You become your definition of your values. To repeat something we’ve said before, values are useful in that they drive our behavior somewhat automatically.

• We BEHAVE in ways that are expressions of what we believe: We define this as acting with integrity. 
• We SAY things that are expressions of what we believe: We define this as telling the truth, and speaking with integrity.

Therefore, in designing your Ho‘ohana, let’s put your values to work for you in delivering the kind of integrity you feel you already have.

The values we believe in are those we practice naturally and with feels-right intention, feeling strong and self-fulfilled when we do. They drive the behaviors of our integrity.

We want our work and our personal values to match up (go to the very bottom of this article and reread our new definition for work if it’s helpful). When they do, we get that much closer to Ho‘ohana as our intuitively personal work.

Now here’s some great news!

1. Values are good, and they are universally shared by most of humankind.
2. Identifying our personal values is pretty easy to do.

Values are plentiful though, and we tend to collect them because they are attractive to us (again, they are good!) However the more values you try to juggle, the more they tend to compete with each other, hungrily trying to steal their share of your attentions. In coming up with a Ho‘ohana statement you can work productively with, you want to narrow your values down to no more than five, six at the most (our working within Ho‘ohana will essentially make it seven).

Now trust me, you have way more values than that, I know. We all do, fascinating creatures that we are! I am forcing you to choose both what is manageable, but also those which actually give you the greatest “bang for the buck.” As Pareto’s Principle says will always happen, the five you choose are very likely the 20% of the causes that give you 80% of your results.

In doing the exercise which follows, know this: Whatever answers you come up with, they are right, for they are all about YOU and about the life you lead in your present context. And that last part is important: Present day variables (i.e. ‘context’) affect your present day Ho‘ohana; don’t get caught up in “shoulding” choosing values that you think might be better for you, values that you “should have.”

What follows is an abbreviated listing of the values of Managing with Aloha (excluding Ho‘ohana since we are working with it to begin with), and you will also need a pad of paper.

Writing a Ho‘ohana Draft part 1: Your Intention and Your Personal Values

1—On the list below, circle only the five values that you feel strongest about, and cross out the others. Again, NO “shoulding.” The faster you do this the better, circling those that resonate by practically jumping off the page at you.

[Note: The links to their full descriptions on www.ManagingWithAloha.com are included for you, but you will not need to reference them until you get to Step 3—below, and perhaps not even then; they are here as a convenience for those who may want to dig into more clarity with MWA-specific value explorations.]

Aloha – I love easily and unconditionally, loving both myself and others. ‘Imi ola – I believe in living with a sense of mission and vision. Ho‘omau – I believe in the value of perseverance and persistence. I value continuity, and continuous improvement. Kūlia i ka nu‘u – I believe in the pursuit of achievement and excellence. I am drawn to quality and to success. Ho‘okipa – I believe in the graciousness and generosity of hospitality, and I seek to be of service to others. ‘Ohana – I believe in family, in being a good neighbor, and in community. Lōkahi – I believe in being cooperative, seeking harmony, unity and collaboration with others. Kākou – I value diversity, and different people intrigue me. I believe in togetherness and inclusiveness so synergy can be created between us. Kuleana – I feel driven by a strong sense of responsibility. ‘Ike loa – I thrive when learning, and I think of myself as a lifelong learner. Ha‘aha‘a – I value humility and open-mindedness. Ho‘ohanohano – Dignity and respect are very important to me. I believe people should conduct themselves with decorum and with distinction. Alaka‘i – I greatly admire initiative and am drawn to new ideas. I aspire to leadership. Mālama – I value caring, empathy and stewardship (for people, places, and things.) Mahalo – I live my life with appreciation and gratitude, living in thankfulness daily. Nānā i ke kumu – I honor authenticity and truth, even when they expose me and make me vulnerable. Pono – I am driven by my ethics, with a very clear sense of right and wrong which gives me good balance in life. Ka lā hiki ola – I live with positive expectancy, holding hope in high esteem, yet fully present in each day, each moment.

2—Pull out your steno pad or notebook, and copy the 5 values you chose at the top of a clean page, a separate page for each one.

3—Write a sentence or two for each of the values you chose, explaining why you believe in them as fervently as you do. Give yourself clarity in your definitions; you are adding to your own personal Language of Intention when you call upon these values.

If it helps you: Click on the links above to learn more about the 5 values you chose.

4—Next, return to our definition of the word WORK. Give yourself more clarity with your values by adding a sentence or two for each one, that describes how you think of this value as connected to the work you intend to do, work which is on bettering the living of your own life.

The clarity you got with this in last week’s exercise should help a great deal here!

If it helps you, and especially if you are a manager with the calling to be one: Pull out your copy of Managing with Aloha, and reread the chapters that correspond to the 5 values you chose. Add to your notes in the book itself - write your self-talk in those margins!

WORK —what I intend to do for me, myself and I. When I “work on something” I am working on something useful or important to me in some way. I work for my purpose, a purpose that is clear to me. I work on-purpose, no more “going through the motions,” no more “paying my dues” or “earning my stripes,” and no more “biding my time.” Even when I work within a job I feel stuck with (for the time being as a transitional time) I am learning as much as I can, learning which is connected with the experience, skills, or knowledge I will use in the future.

Next Tuesday: Writing a Ho‘ohana Draft part 2: Enjoy the How-To of your Values.

We Ho‘ohana together, Kākou.

~Rosa