Humility in the Workplace

Preface: This was an article I had originally written in September of 2006 for Lifehack.org. I have newly edited it for our value study this month on MWAC on Ha‘aha‘a, the Hawaiian value of Humility. Our Day One Essay kicking off the month was Ha‘aha‘a means Humility Laughing.

‘Humility’ is a widely understood word. It’s not one of those words people will pause to look up the meaning for. Generally, people love the thought of humility. It’s one of those ‘good’ values we strive for; one we admire. Yes, most people feel they know what it means to be humble.

Demonstrating it however, is a whole other matter.

For instance, a person distracted by their Blackberry or cell phone, unable to focus on the conversation you are having with them face to face, is so filled with self-importance, they cannot possibly claim to be humble. Humility is the lack of self-importance, is it not?

The person who impatiently shakes their head as you explain a new idea you are presenting to them, finally breaking in to say, “We’ve tried that here before, and it just doesn’t work,” cannot claim to be humble. Humility is being open-minded, and realizing that no matter how long you’ve been around, you couldn’t possibly have experienced everything there is to experience, right?

Then there’s the person who just got a promotion, and the first purchase order they write is for new business cards, despite the fact that the have a box left of the old ones with the same mailing address, email address, and phone numbers. Never mind that they mostly attach v-cards electronically these days, and that’s why the old box lasted so long.

In new product development, there’s a discussion going on about complaints customers have with existing products, and someone says, “Well, they wouldn’t have that problem if they followed the instructions in the first place.” That can’t possibly be humility, when we stop listening to what our customers are asking for, and assume they just don’t ‘get it,’ right?

If some of our common behaviors in workplaces are an indication, we don’t understand humility very much at all.

Those who are humble, feel the rest of us are pretty interesting. Those with humility have a genuine desire to discover what other people can offer. They are intrigued by how others think, and how others feel differently from them.

We can be confident, and we can be self-assured; humility does not call for us to be meek, or consider ourselves lower in stature. We do not require less of ourselves, and we take our role and our responsibilities seriously. However what humility does, is create a sort of receptacle of acceptance in us, so we are open to being filled with the knowledge and opinions of others. Humility is a kind of hunger for more abundance. The greater our humility, the greater our fascination with the world around us, and the more we learn.

To have inner drive, to want to be successful is a good thing. I do believe that part of humility is believing in those possibilities which presently may be larger than life for you.

However humility also speaks to the demeanor and attitude we must have as we seek our success, so that our inner drive and desires are in balance with our composure, and our conduct with those who interact with us. After all, they could factor into being a big part of the success we eventually will enjoy.

One of the best definitions I have ever heard for humility came from one of my employees when I was still in corporate management. Short and sweet, it’s one I have never forgotten. He was talking about a new supervisor we’d recently hired into the department, explaining how she listened to everyone on staff in such a great way. Like they mattered. Like everything they did and said mattered. He had said she seemed very humble to him because as she demonstrated it, “Humility is an act of courtesy.”

I like that.

We were not put on this earth alone. Frankly, others have to live with us, and our own practice of open-minded, fill-me-up humility can make it a much more interesting and pleasant experience for all of us.

Patty gave us a great example in her comment:

My office is full of hard-working people who run around like chickens with their heads cut off. They move frantically but effectively from one task to another. But given the pace, we sometimes mess things up. And, of course, it happens in a public way. The best part: the whole office comes together in support of that person, and, after the fact when the mistake is fixed (usually, in record time), we have a few good jokes at our staff meeting about it, and we all laugh together. It reminds us that we're human, and that our work is important but not at the expense and harm of good people.

Optimist that I am, I believe there are a ton more great examples of humility practiced every day in our workplaces. Will you tell us about one in yours too?

Comments

[Stephanie]

While I aspire to be humble, I have a lot to learn. This week my fortune indicated that I would be a good listener... reality was much different.

Days after reading my fortune I was having a conversation about a production incident with a co-worker and I lost my patience. His response was to react by stating that I should let him finish and that I had a bad habit of interrupting people... so I paused to let him finish.

In the end our exchange was productive. He apologized for his explosion and I accepted responsibility for having done exactly as he had described. What I like about our interaction is that we both respected each other as imperfect beings. As a result we were able to nurture trust. He's the type of person you want in a work environment.

For me, the individual should always come before the business. Thanks for the post Rosa!

[Rosa Say]

Your comment was such a good reminder of how patience for another and humility are very closely connected Stephanie. These everyday workplace stories happen daily to all of us, yet we often do not stop to give them this kind of self-reflective thought, nor this appreciation. Thank you so much for sharing your story Stephanie; this was golden --- "What I like about our interaction is that we both respected each other as imperfect beings. As a result we were able to nurture trust."

[Brad Shorr]

Rosa, what a beautifully written and uplifting post! In American culture, I think humility is undervalued, maybe even a character flaw. But you are right. Humility is what makes us grow and helps us truly help others, whether in business or otherwise. For me, humility is about being thankful. The person who rushes out to buy new business cards should pause first, thank the people above him who gave him the promotion, thank the people around him who helped him succeed. Humble people make great leaders. I heard the president of U.S. Steel do an interview recently. This soft spoken, reflective man said the best thing a young person starting a career can do is thank people. Thinking of the Bible, Moses was certainly a great leader. He is described as being the meekest man in the world. Sorry for the ramble, but you have me thinking in 10 different directions!

[Rosa Say]

Brad, no rambling to apologize for! You have added a gem for us. LOVE the connection you have drawn connecting humility and thankfulness, for one does strengthen and fortify the other in such a pleasing way.

You have also reminded me of a story I often share in my presentations about advice my father had given me at the time I basked in the wonder of my own first promotion... I was all of an unsophisticated, inelegant eighteen and he made sure I remembered that, but in a kind and wise way. I will have to write it up within the full story my dad so deserves in having it told... mahalo for the prompting Brad, and for the humility of the memory :)

[--Deb]

Humility is one of the virtues that I admire in others and strive for in myself, but one of the tough ones for me. Except for a brief period in elementary school, I've always had massive amounts of self-confidence, so I would go months at a time without feeling humble about pretty much anything. But I also therefore--sometimes quite harshly--learned the importance of at least SEEMING humble around my peers. Who wants to be "stuck up," after all, or to turn people off with their raging, usually-overblown self-esteem? It was a hard lesson, but a good one, even if it meant that I pretty much had no friends at all for a few years there when I was little (grin).

And, I always think of Lancelot in the musical "Camelot," trying to explain the importance of "oo-mility" when he is so annoying cock-sure of himself that he clearly doesn't understand how far off from it he is. (Honestly, I was never that bad!)

[Rosa Say]

Hello Deb, and welcome to Managing with Aloha Coaching! I have just clicked over to your Punctuality Rules! to ‘meet’ you, and found that we are very alike in a few habits… you’d written,

“Then there’s writing, which I also love to do. I wouldn’t say that I know every grammatical rule out there, or that I never make mistakes, or that there aren’t some rules that I cavalierly ignore. There are. The ban against starting sentences with a conjunction, for example, has never been a favorite of mine, if only because I sometimes let my sentences get more complicated than they perhaps should be, making a period a very useful thing. And when that happens, you really just have to start the next sentence with an “and.” (Yes, I did do that on purpose, and, oh yes, I’m more of a fan of parenthetical comments than I should be for serious writing.)”

You will find all of that here, unabashedly by yours truly!

I can also empathize with you in regard to humility, for it takes an awful lot of it for me to even admit that it is not one of my more prevalent virtues… ranks down there with patience for me. However it is pretty cool how the aspiring for it can help us in the effort :)