Didja know that today is Joe D.Cool’s birthday?

Hau‘oli la hanau to Dwayne Melancon!

There are certain birthdays that deserve all my attention; they are my feelin’ the gratitude days. Today is my gratitude day for Dwayne; Hau‘oli la hanau my friend.

Dwayne is one of my spirit spillers;

Dwayne Melancon at Genuine Curiosity (Feed)
There could be no better pairing of a man with the name of his blog. Dwayne is the thoughtfully intelligent adult who has magically kept the genuine curiosity we only think children can have. I do not hear from Dwayne as often as others, yet when I do he has amazingly chosen the perfect time, where connecting with him makes me feel healthy again. I have a dream of sitting in an audience to hear Dwayne speak one day…
—Sunday Mālama: Spirit Spilling

Dwayne just gave me one of those “perfect times” again in the past week.

One way we count our blessings is in our vital friendships. When you do, their birthdays are actually your gifts!

I think of a ‘vital friendship’ as one that makes you feel life is richly textured, patiently waiting in the wings to give you a bit more, and always worth the living of it— no matter what. Vital friends inspire you to become a better friend for others; when you can give yourself in in vital friendship, you love the person you become in the process.

I believe we are all incredibly blessed, and can feel those blessings when we think of certain people; those people are usually ‘Ohana (family) and our vital friendships. It’s a good belief to have, I think. Oh, I too, have had those times in my life where I pleaded with God to please explain to me why life could be so cruel; one of them was when my first husband died in a diving accident; we had been married for all of 44 days. Another was when my dad left our earth and went to heaven (we all know he did; we know it as immutable fact) though he was only 59 years old.

Then, certain days come when God seems to say, “I have a gift for you.” You ‘hear’ these words when someone comes into your life, and somehow, some unexplainable how, you just know that this person will be slightly different from others; they will come to mean some wonderful things to you. I am pretty sure that Dwayne is one of ‘my people.’ He is kinda the barely-resisting-geeky Joe Cool of our Ho‘ohana Community, plus more. (You can see Dwayne’s picture here —I want you to go there if you are curious, for if you are curious too, you should be reading Genuine Curiosity anyway…)

I have not known Dwayne all that long; in the beginning of May our friendship will be three years old, however it has been a vital friendship from the very beginning. Dwayne and I have never been in the same place at the same time; thus, we have yet to meet each other in person. However thanks to this wonderfully connect-able era we live in, we haven’t needed to. Email, the telephone, and occasionally snail mailing (books) take care of it quite nicely, as do introductions we make for each other, and that curiosity-generated learning we share... for instance, I will read ANY book Dwayne suggests to me.

My friendship with Dwayne is one of those where both people involved are not at all needy, just quickly available. We have this professional but personal friendship that people who work well together have, but we don’t work together, other than in cyberspace when Dwayne graciously allows me to pull him into one of my projects (like Joyful Jubilant Learning; Dwayne really rocks his Joe D.Cool thing there.)

Dwayne made this gift card for me, sort of your virtual ticket to our Ho‘ohana Community and I am flagrantly dropping a hint here, that I have been wishing for a new one for Managing with Aloha Coaching one of these days :) It would look particularly great here. Maybe on my birthday?

I am pushing it though... Dwayne already gave me an early birthday present by taking my birthday-to-come off my mind in a big way... you’ll soon see.

For now, I am sure you have your people too; why not take a moment to calendar your own feelin’ the gratitude day for them?

Hau‘oli la hanau Dwayne; mahalo for being my gift these past three years, and thank you in advance for all the blessings I am quite sure you will keep me counting! (No pressure tho :) You are the warmest a Joe Cool of pure Aloha can ever be!

[Photo of the Joe Cool puzzle by mag3737 on Flickr]

Postscript: Yes, there is a bit of a history to my Joe D.Cool nickname for Dwayne. If you like, you can follow this trail...

1. Learning Needs a Cool Factor, by me
2. Ashamed of our naked skins, by Dwayne (which you really should read if you are a parent)
3. You never know..., by Dwayne, as a guest author for me

About celebrating birthdays: Keith is right, and lucky me, you know it too.

Comments

[Dwayne Melancon]

Wow - I'm at a loss for words, Rosa. So here is what I'm thinking: Thank you. You bring out the best in me, and I truly value your friendship.

(And no promises on the MWA Coaching gift card, but I'm thinking about it now that you've dropped the hint!)

[Rosa Say]

Just like I said, you know the perfect times Dwayne! I program the post, and your comment is the first thing I wake up to on this Hawai‘i–beauty of a Monday morning. I’m wishing the best of the day for you!

[Joanna Young]

This is such a beautiful piece of writing Rosa. It captures the essence of friendship - and introduced me to the concept of vital friendship.

I am very lucky to have some vital friends - those I've met and those I've only communicated with online - who make me feel blessed in just the way you describe. Of course you are one of them.

It's delightful to take a peek into the nature of the friendship you have with Dwayne and everything that he means to you.

Happy birthday Dwayne - I hope you have a wonderful day, and year.

Joanna

[Steve Sherlock]

the muse needed a little time but it found a spare moment on the train today, Happy Birthday Dwayne!

Genuine curiosity
Drives out melancholy
Makes Dwayne Joe D Cool!

[Dwayne Melancon]

Thanks, Steve - my first Sherku!

And Joanna, Rosa sure has that effect, doesn't she? And thanks for the wishes - I had a great day.

[Karen Wallace]

Rosa, you are my hero! The generosity of your heart, first with your birthday wishes for Joanna, now for Dwayne, fill my heart with awe. You are an amazing, loving, generous lady, giving so freely of your heart and your soul to those you call friend. You inspire me to be a better me, every time I read your words. I think today is one of those 'certain days' for me.

Happy birthday Dwayne! (Sorry, I am a day or two behind.. cannot quite work out the time zones)

[Rosa Say]

Thank you Karen, very much!