Abounding Grace: Found First in Forgiveness?

One of my favorite books is Abounding Grace, An Anthology of Wisdom by M. Scott Peck, M.D. author of the classic The Road Less Traveled.

I have Rocky Noe to thank for the ma‘alahi (peacefully contented) hour I spent with the book again last night; a comment he left for me on how our anxiety can create change caused me to remember something Dr. Peck had written. (You can click to our conversation here: How is your workplace affected by a recession?)

Abounding Grace is one of those books you can never stop reading, for it is experienced in the context of the moment in which you have decided to open it; it isn’t really a book to read, as much as one you jump into on occasion to use.

Sometimes, actually, a lot of times, it chews you up and spits you out, seeming to say, “I know you can do better —go try again.”

“To err is human, to forgive divine.”
—Alexander Pope

“Don’t carry a grudge. While you’re carrying the grudge, the other guy’s out dancing.”
—Buddy Hackett

At its simplest, Abounding Grace is a collection of quotes. To believe the book collectively is simple, is to vastly underestimate Dr. Peck and his brilliance. I cannot tell you how many times I have dipped into it, and then walked away in pure wonder, asking myself, how could he possibly have known?

So, I’m not sure exactly why, (it will probably come to me by the time the weekend is over) this is what jumped out at me last night, when what I was most thinking about initially, was contentment. This is from the preface Dr. Peck wrote before presenting his anthology for happiness.

“So, by all means, seek happiness. But do so wisely… Look solely for happiness, and I doubt you’ll find it. Forget about happiness, seek wisdom and goodness, and probably happiness will find you. Happiness is usually indirect, a side effect or by-product of something else.”

“What ‘something else?’ No one thing. The component virtues that follow —acceptance, cheerfulness, contentment, forgiveness, humor, serenity and above all, gratitude— are all such other things, and therefore clues. You cannot be fully happy, for instance, if there is someone in your life you currently hate… acknowledge the reality that it is necessary to judge a man guilty of a crime before it is possible to genuinely pardon him. All else is what I have labeled ‘cheap forgiveness.’ Forgiveness is the relinquishment of anger. There can be no real forgiveness without there first being real and righteous anger. If not held onto for too long, righteous ‘holy’ anger is one of the most God-given of emotions.”

What do you think? Would you agree with Dr. Peck?

Palm Sunday Perspective
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Comments

[Dean Boyer]

Rosa,

This is a special post, Rosa...thank you. I agree that forgiveness is necessary for right relationships and a healthy heart. The quote, "There can be no real forgiveness without there first being real and righteous anger" does not resonate with me as absolutely true. I believe hurt can be experienced without anger; hurtful actions need forgiveness as well. I have been hurt many times through mistreatment. My dad left my mother and me when I was 18 months of age; forgiveness brought us together 40+ years later. It was not anger that I had to deal with but hurt.

One more thought...why are we so overwhelmed when we see wrongful behavior in others but so surprised when we see it in ourselves?

Dean

[Rosa Say]

That part of the quote rubbed against my grain at first too Dean, but then I pushed through to be more open-minded about it - maybe because I was surprised to see it in myself?

Very true what you say about hurt.

[Karen Wallace]

Ahhh, Rosa - another book to add to my shopping list! It sounds like just the sort of book that deserves a place on my bedside table.

Funny how we all had a similar reaction with that bit about righteous anger. It's something to sit with for a while I think...

[Rosa Say]

Karen, I'm not that surprised we three had the same reaction to that, for after all, we three do share so many of the same values!