Living Mahalo with my Dailies

Stephen’s Day

I have an annual ritual for November 28th. It is the birthday of someone now in heaven who was exceptionally special to me, and so in his honor I call this Stephen’s Day. When Stephen died, I decided that I needed to commemorate the day somehow, so I would keep remembering and working on some of the things he had taught me to be grateful for during all the time he blessed my days. Having his birthday fall at the end of November, a month I have always associated with the diligent, focused practice of Mahalo (appreciation, gratitude, and thankfulness) seemed to be an added affirmation.

That affirmation has now become gift. For remember, living within mahalo is living within thankfulness for each element which makes your life precious to you.

Kēia Manawa

Stephen was someone who could focus on the present moment clearly and with perceptive intensity, able to see the everything existing in the here and now. In Hawai‘i we call this kēia manawa, living in moments which seize the day with both hands, with heart, mind, gut and soul. Kēia la; today you own the day.

Stephen was someone who never looked behind him, easily letting things go and leaving the past behind. What was over was done. He was also someone who was never in a rush to have tomorrow come, fully knowing that a single day is never long enough for us mere humans to milk it fully of all its possibility. However have no hesitation or doubt: We were here to try. And try he did, Stephen lived his too-short life in a joyous way that made everyone else feel lucky to be on earth with him.

However Stephen was not obsessive about whatever he chose to do either; in fact, he had relaxing down to an art form. His was a life of contentment. When you live in Mahalo as Stephen did, you die with no regrets.

My Dailies

This is my annual ritual: On November 28 I rewrite my Dailies for the next year to come, starting from scratch and letting my self’s intention do any remembering. My Dailies fill a simple list on a single sheet of paper, and I print a dozen copies, putting them wherever I may need them to be readily accessible for me. The electronic copy goes on my calendar as a daily recurrence for 5am so I read it whenever I first switch online.

On my list of dailies is everything I would want to do each and every day if I could possibly fit them all in.

From year to year my list has gotten longer, though I do stick to my one-page-only rule, and frankly, I have never had a day where I did everything on it. If you add up all the minutes, it probably isn’t even possible.

But here’s the rub: Without my Dailies, I probably wouldn’t accomplish half the things I do each day; I would not manifest as many possibilities as I do, and I would miss opportunities I now see more clearly. Looking at the dailies I have just now written, I usually do achieve the first ten at minimum.

Mahalo for a brand new year to come

Here are the Stephen’s Day dailies I settled on today. Those of you who have read my writing regularly over the past year will recognize the influences :) I’ve added in some explanatory italics and links for you. Values are in bold, and you can find those links in the column to the right.

1. D90M: Work out and Walk. Without good health the rest of this list doesn’t matter.
2. D5M: Do the Daily 5 Minutes. 1 minimum, 3 at the most to follow-up well.
3. D15M: Huddle up in a Daily 15 Minutes with SLC/HP (my business, Say Leadership Coaching and Ho‘ohana Publishing).
4. Ho‘ohana: Complete your day’s work as planned (whatever I’ve calendared in my Strong Week Plan/ per my Weekly Review). There’s usually a good 5-6 hours of work here per day, and in my case it’s a mixture of personal and professional: One life, one ho‘ohana.
5. D20M: Make a twenty-minute call to connect with at least one person by voice – ‘Ohana (family).
6. D20M: Make a twenty-minute call to connect with at least one person by voice – Community (business and friends).
7. D20M for the Mālama of stewardship: Give a daily act of caring and sustenance to the Ho‘ohana Community. Honor agreements, keep promises.
   
8. Sense of Place: Get outdoors and feel where you are. Appreciate it. (Today was very cool: We had a sudden rainstorm predicated by loud claps of thunder, and since I was doing my work at home I slipped outside and got willingly drenched. Followed it up with a warm shower and 2pm café latte.)
9. D60M: Write (besides morning pages).
10. D15M: Nightly 5 for your Mahalo before bed. (my Gratitude Journal)
11. D5M: Mahalo: Say “thank you” or send someone a hand-written thank you note. Writing it down each night is not enough.
12. D10M: Believe in your biology and cherish your brain. Stop whatever you are doing and mind-sweep: Respect every thought, and write everything down. Capture and savor. Deliberate and decide.
13. Read at least one chapter in two different books (and don’t buy anymore until your stacks are read!) Annotate and log take-aways.
14. ‘Ike loa expressed and shared: Go verbal or visual with what you LearnED today. Been doing this for a while, and it was the inspiration for Rapid Fire Learning on Joyful Jubilant Learning.
15. D30M: Listen to a few book chapters via my Audible Library. (One of my current goals is to learn of any auditory capacity I am not using. By nature I am highly visual and kinesthetic… one result is that MWA is still not offered in audio…)
16. ‘Ōpala ‘ole: Clean something or de-clutter for at least D15M. (Material freedom, and discovering how little I can make do with has become a fascination for me lately.)
17. Ma‘alahi: What complexity did the day reveal that I can streamline and make more simple?
18. Stop the fluffery: What “should-ing” or busywork did the day reveal, keeping me from true accomplishment? Why did I do it, and how can I stop it?
19. Reality check the rest of my Stop Doing List.
20. Be Mea Ho‘okipa: Serve someone.
21. Choose one thing to practice from the 12 Rules of Self-Management.
22. Choose one thing to practice from the 12 Rules of Self-Leadership.
23. Palena ‘ole —Reflect at day’s end for more accurate Strength Statements: What made me feel strong, what made me feel weak? Capture, clarify, confirm and claim.
24. Nānā i ke kumu (Look to your source) —Reflect at day’s end for Spirit: Did I live my signature story of Aloha?

Stephen died in 1977, and my first dailies were written that same year. Since then, they’ve provided me with a kind of annual chronicle of what was important to me each year. For instance, the years my children were born are all about my learning to be a mother, first for one child, and then for two. The year came that I taught them both to do their own dailies; this is a great way to stop them from saying, “Mom, I’m bored!” on those long summer days!

This year is the first time I have woven some “stop doing” things into it, understanding how useful this concept is:

“As a 10-year board member of the Peter Drucker Foundation, I had many opportunities to listen to this great man. Among the myriad wise things I have heard Peter Drucker say, the wisest was, "We spend a lot of time teaching leaders what to do. We don't spend enough time teaching leaders what to stop. Half the leaders I have met don't need to learn what to do. They need to learn what to stop."”
~ Marshall Goldsmith in What Got You Here Won't Get You There

Are you game for adding Stephen’s Day to your calendar too?

Try it this weekend: What do your dailies look like? They are completely up to you.

This is Mahalo in sweet action: Live within thankfulness for each element which makes your life precious to you.

Comments

[Chris Bailey]

As the wisdom proverb says, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." This morning, this is exactly what I needed to read.

What an inspiration to read that even though Stephen has been gone for 30 years, his spirit lives through your dailies, your memorial to him. The true essence of Mahalo is here.

Thank you, Rosa.

[dave]

The VOKR - http://www.daverothacker.com/rothacker_reviews/2007/11/rosa-say-bokr.html

btw, in regards to point # 13 - don't think I've ever accomplished this one. don't think I can...stackcreep is unstopable, inevitable.

[Rosa Say]

Aloha Chris and Dave! Now this is an early Christmas gift of the merriest kind when two of my favorite writers and most admired men pay me a visit and leave behind such warm hugs.

the VOKC + the VOKD = making Rosa's day!
Mahalo nui guys!

Dave, I know you mean the no buying part of #13, for I am quite sure that you are reading far, far more than those two chapters each day!

[tim]

Rosa:
Your list is both inspiring and challenging. I have a list that I keep posted on my wall called "A successful day." I like what you've done with including the minutes you will use for most of your items. I guess that helps you plan for it better in your calendar.

Because of this post, I think it's time to revisit my list and make sure that it is in line with my intentional work. Thanks again for sharing your personal journey here!

[Rosa Say]

I remember Tim! Your posting gave me a birthday gift last year that has stayed with me, and was a big influence in my own evolution of Stephen's Day this year!

Dear readers, check it out!
http://www.sayleadershipcoaching.com/talkingstory/2007/04/to_do_and_to_st.html

Tim's posting is here:
http://studentlinc.typepad.com/studentlinc/2007/04/what_makes_a_da_1.html

We ho‘ohana kākou Tim!