Beat 1 Coaching for Kākou: Who is your We?

At first this will seem odd to you with the knowledge that Kākou is the value of inclusiveness, but bear with me, and read this through.

As we study Kākou this month, I do not want you to make any new friends. Don’t go to any new networking events, don’t join any new clubs or volunteer for new community events. Don’t subscribe to a single new magazine, newsletter or blog (just bookmark or tag for later any “looks interesting” pages you happen on). Just for this month, this is not a time to create new connections with more people. No new learning about social media tools you are not yet using. I love and admire community builder Chris Brogan and relationship geek Phil Gerbyshak (and they know I do), but just for October I want you to ignore their coaching to extend your network.

Why? New relationship-building requires a different sort of intention than we’ll study this month. Unless you are collecting business cards for some art project or design study, acting on them as their owners wish you would will rob too much of your time and attention.

To learn Kākou in the best possible way, we are going to work with the connections you already have without adding to them.

We are going to be sure we are not neglecting the people who already are our “We.” That we truly ARE Kākou in our relationships with them, and that they would also award us that appreciative compliment.

Today I want you to look back on the goals you wrote for yourself with Beat 1, and consider them once more through this lens:

When you now use that short, but Kākou-rich word “we” exactly who are you including?
Who do you mean?

I want you to list them, and use names. Not your entire rolodex or contacts list, but the ones that are part of your “We” day after day, week after week, month after month. Stop there, and forget about your Christmas Card List.

For most of us, the headings will look like this:

• My family
• My Vital Friends (more on have come to use that phrase is here: Vital Friends, The People You Can’t Afford to Live Without)
• My primary work team
• My current project team with _____.
• My current project team with _____.
• My current project team with _____. (If you have more than 3 current projects you’re crazy ...in the ‘Imi ola way we think about things here for best possible life.)
• Those I manage and lead (and you may have sub-groupings, like division chiefs, department heads, supervisors, foremen or leads, etc. - do separate them.)
• Others who count on me (that is, for their day-to-day, week-to-week, and month-to-month effectiveness - they would probably list you on one of their teams)

Once you have your lists, go back and look at that first draft of goals and intentions you wrote for Beat 1 in our Day One. Will you need to tweak them?

Who is in your We? What are your intentions for Kākou with them?