Sunday Mālama: The exceptional training called Parenting

It is no secret that I believe great management is a noble profession, one that requires a calling because it represents a lifetime of continual, open-minded learning. However I have also been fond of this reality check in the grand scheme of things: Management is a cakewalk in comparison to parenting.

A few days ago, a good friend and favorite client sent me an email which detailed a job description for parents, and I couldn’t resist sharing it with you for this weekend’s Sunday Mālama. The original author is unknown; the [brackets] are my add-ons.

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A Job Description for Parents

If it had been presented this way, would any of us have done it?

POSITION:

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

[Whoever wrote this must not yet realize that at 18 it is a 1,000% increase for each subsequent college year,  and perhaps beyond, not a balloon payment.]

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

DISTRIBUTION:

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do... or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

[Alternately, consider management and leadership as not that bad after all...]

Postscript: If this is your first visit to Managing with Aloha Coaching, you can read of our intention with Sunday Mālama here: Sunday Mālama: A Beginning. A trackback there will easily help you return here.

~ ~ ~Have you kept up with our community forum at Joyful Jubilant Learning?

April Groves wrote a wonderful essay on her view as Mom; do read My Ten Gallon Hat. Then, catch up on the forum compilation page.

Comments

[April Groves]

This is great! It is getting bookmarked and printed out!

[Timothy Johnson]

Sometimes I wish there were a screening and certification process before some people could take this job, Rosa.

Brilliantly put, and you have stated it very accurately.

[Mel]

Off topic.....
I believe that by just being a part of “Priscilla Palmer’s Personal Development list” suggests that each of us post this list. You like me (Killeris at “Attitude, the Ultimate Power”) are on this list. If you have already posted it, THANK YOU. If you have not posted it, I am officially putting out a challenge that you add additional sites that fit the theme and post the entire list. This is my opinion only. If you disagree I respectfully understand. If you do agree with me this list can be found at: http://mondaymorningpower.blogspot.com/2007/09/personal-development-list-challenge.html

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Hello Mel. You are right: your comment is off-topic, and at first I was quite tempted to delete it as a spam-parked link. I reconsidered feeling you gave me an opportunity to respond with my dismay at how what probably started with exceptional intentions, has in my view, deteriorated in quality because of unfortunate opportunistic behaviors: There are far, far better and more honorable ways for bloggers to build community and traffic to their sites.

I have seen that list going the rounds, and while I am honored that Priscilla included a link to my site, and grateful to the person who had included me, I do not believe that reprinting it here in its entirety provides my readers with the value they have come to expect they will receive from Managing with Aloha Coaching. I do make recommendations for my readers, but specific to our on topic discussions here, and where the link I may suggest is in more of a starring role rather than consumed by the list-mediocrity of the masses.

Actually, you did end up keeping me on topic Mel! From my post above:
"Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product."
~ Rosa Say

An update: ~ ~ ~ I think Leah Maclean said this very well on Working Solo for you too Mel:
http://workingsolo.com.au/2007/09/17/5-reasons-im-not-playing-re-priscillas-personal-development-list/
Have you returned to visit any of us with whom you are leaving your links?

[Rosa Say]

Mahalo April. As I wrote above, I loved your essay!

I so agree with you Timothy! We could take the similarity much farther to the pre-hire reference and background checks, drug screening, qualification assessments and skill tests ... and then the clincher; the 90-day review when the probationary period is over!

[Pete Aldin]

Mmmm, and you can't resign either.

[Karen Wallace]

It is definitely the toughest, most exhausting and harrowing job in the world. And I wouldn't resign for anything.

Thank you for sharing this with us Rosa. I often wonder if I knew back 18 years ago what I know now, whether I would have had children at all. Of course, then one of my kids comes and gives me a bear hug, or I peek in on a sleeping child, and I know that it has all been worth every minute.

[Rosa Say]

I feel the same way Karen. Despite the inevitable ups and downs that are the nature of parenting, my two children have been the best teachers I could have possibly had for my life. I cannot imagine the word "living" having complete meaning for me were I not blessed with being their mom.